A Vampire?
by HissingSnake
Summary: When the Cullens find Vincent Valentine in their basement they wonder if he's a vampire...
1. The Halloween Party

'Relax, Bella' Alice said. 'Jess and Angela don't know you've transformed, they'll just think your new face is part of the make-up.'

If my heart could still beat it would be fluttering at the speed of sound. I hadn't seen my human friends since my wedding. What would they think in an hour's time when they see me again, me with pale complexion, cold skin and a somewhat more beautiful face? I walked to the dressing table to check myself in the mirror.

'Alice, these fangs are horrible,' I complained, 'and the red contacts cloud my vision.'

'Ha,' she snorted. 'You've done nothing but complain since I proposed the party.'

I poked my tongue out at her. Tonight was Halloween – and my sister came up with the rotten idea of turning our house into a crypt and hold a party for our human friends. That wasn't bad, no – Alice was genius when it came to decorating houses. It was the fact that she wanted all of us to _pretend_ to be vampires. Traditional vampires. Red eyes, fangs, bat wings and all that conventional human nonsense…

***

'No!' we all said to her last week. 'Alice, we're trying to keep our existence _hidden_, announcing outright to humans that we're vampires kind of breaks the Volturi's code of conduct.'

'Aww come on,' she begged. 'By dressing up as the traditional vampires, there's no way a human would think we _are_ vampires. They'll just think we have excellent costumes and makeup. Besides, I can see nothing bad coming out of it. In fact – ' and here Alice squinted into the future ' – Jess is going to walk out of the party telling Mike to buy her the best vampire outfit he can find.'

Carlisle sighed, and we knew the battle was lost. There was no point in trying to argue with Alice when she got stubborn…

***

'Almost time, almost time,' I said nervously, glancing at the ornate grandfather clock. 'They'll be coming in an hour.'

'Good,' Alice's voice echoed from several floors up, where I could here her draping cobwebs into place. 'Why don't you go down to the basement and make sure that the coffins I ordered are all in place?'

The basement would be the first room our human visitors were to go after entering the house and into the dining room. Alice wanted all of us to hide in those coffins – pretend to actually _sleep_ in them. Ugh. Then she wanted us to jump out and spook the humans. I rustled my cape irritably and trooped into the basement.

There were eight coffins in all. Nessie was to stay with Jacob and hit our party later, pretending to be an outsider – Jess would be extremely mystified if she found another addition to the Cullen household. I opened the door to the basement, and saw eight coffins, lavishly decorated, propped against the walls.

No, not eight. _Nine_. Nine coffins in total.

The ninth coffin was very large, the only one in the middle of the room, placed horizontally.

It obviously didn't belong with the other coffins. This one was so much more plain, and of a different style. It was even bigger than Emmett's coffin.

Jacob's?

Was this his idea of a Halloween joke?

I heard a rustle of cotton and Alice was by my side.

'Good, you're here,' I said. 'Alice, did you bring in that coffin?'

'No, I didn't,' she frowned. 'Everything just blurred out of my vision then, so I came down to see what was the matter.'

'Well, must be Jacob,' I concluded. 'The werewolves and Nessie are the only ones you can't see.'

'He's probably laughing his head off in there,' Alice grumbled.

'I hope he suffocates,' I added.

'Is the dog in our house?' Rosalie's musical voice echoed down the hallway, slightly distorted with distaste.

'Yep,' Alice replied.

'Gah,' Rosalie muttered. 'Now the whole house is going to stink.'

'Jacob, get out of there,' I called out and strode across the room to open the coffin. There was no reply. I flipped the lid back –

To find a complete stranger sleeping inside.

'Not Jacob?' Alice asked and walked to my side. Her jaw dropped open. We turned slowly to look at each other, then back at the strange man. He had an odd scent about him. Like…laboratory.

'His hair's a mess,' Alice commented, 'and his cloak is in complete tatters.'

I looked closely at the sleeping stranger. A red bandage was wrapped over his head, and his hair covered half of it. He wore a blood red cape which hid his mouth from view. Golden armour covered his left arm and both feet. Belts and buckles were strapped all over his body.

'The armour looks nice,' I said.

The man opened his eyes.

They were blood red.

And they were not contacts.

He was definitely not an albino.

_But_ he had red eyes. Red. Eyes.

My first reaction was, vampire!

'Are you a half immortal?' Alice demanded.

'What's going on?' Rosalie came into the room.

The man sat up and rubbed his head.

'Who are you anyway?' I asked. 'Who, and _what_, are you?'

'Vincent,' he answered. 'Vincent Valentine.'

There was a long pause.

'Where am I?'

'In our house, which you have no right to be in,' Rosalie snapped. 'In fact, we have visitors coming in fifty minutes and it would be greatly appreciated if you could get out by then.'

'Are you a friend of Carlisle's from hospital?' I asked.

'Not likely,' Rosalie scoffed. 'No doctor would dress like that.'

'You know,' I said to my sisters, 'he _does_ look like a guy on his way to a Halloween party dressed as a vampire.'

'How?'

'Minus the fangs, he has pale skin, extraordinarily red eyes, and his cape is quite fascinating. Oh, and the coffin sleeping,' I replied.

'Vampire capes are black.' Alice rolled her eyes.

'What are vampires?' the man asked as he climbed out the coffin. His movements were very graceful, and slightly faster than a normal human's. A silver charm hung out from a pouch behind his butt.

'What's that?' I pointed at the charm. It looked like some winged, three headed creature.

'Cerberus,' He pulled the charm and a triple-barreled gun slid into view.

Rosalie laughed. 'You think you can kill us with that? We're bulletproof.'

'No one is trying to kill you,' he said emotionlessly.

'Then get out of here.'

'Ugh,' the man muttered. 'What a dump.'

'Excuse me?' Rosalie said coldly. 'If anything, _you_ look like _you_ came from a dump. You look like a homeless drug addict wearing that frayed cloak, and you seriously need a haircut.'

'Ouch,' Alice said.

However, it did not seem to affect the man in any way. He just looked at us with an air of indifferent calm.

'What's going on in here?' Emmett asked in a booming tone and sauntered in. 'Having an argument over coffins?' His gaze fell on the red-eyed stranger, and a grin stretched across his face. 'Who's this?' he laughed, clapping the man on the back. However, in one fluid motion, the man sidestepped and dodged Emmett.

'Goodbye,' he said in a bored tone and strode purposefully out the door, leaving the four of us staring after him in confusion.

'How does that guy walk in those funny armoured boots?' Alice asked incredulously.

'He's not going to smash the house?' Rosalie looked at her.

'Well, I can't see,' Alice responded, 'but the future of this house hasn't blurred out of my vision, so I don't think he's going to do anything to it. Yet.'

'Who is he anyway?' Emmett asked.

I shrugged. 'He says his name is Vincent Valentine. He's not human since Alice can't see him, but we have no idea what he is. Maybe half-immortal?'

My hearing had been enhanced since my transformation, and so I heard the thuds in the forest which signaled the werewolves' presence. Suddenly, the thuds stopped.

'Hmm,' Alice said thoughtfully. 'The Quilettes must've met that Vincent.'

A shocked yelp confirmed Alice's prediction.

'Nessie!' I choked out. 'What if that man hurt her?' I bolted for the door with Alice, Rosalie and Emmett hard on my heels. The setting sun hit my vision as I burst outside. I scanned the trees, and saw the man standing in front of the gigantic russet wolf. He did not appear at all frightened.

Jacob, on the other hand, was crouched in front of Nessie protectively, ears flattened and growling fiercely. We all moved to stand beside Jacob.

'Who's this?' Edward flitted to my side after emerging from the trees with the rest of my vampire family. 'Hmm, are you shielding him?' he whispered to me.

'No, should I?'

'I can't read his mind,' he frowned at the man. 'Yes, that's fine,' he said out aloud to no one in particular. 'You'll find some new ones on the porch.' Jacob trotted away, and Jasper filled his place.

'Who're you talking to?' I asked Edward, though I already had an idea.

'Jacob,' he explained. 'He wants to know if it's okay for him to morph human, then asked where he could find clothes.'

We all stared at the man – Vincent – but he did not seem to be the slightest bit bothered. He looked, if anything, plain downright bored. His behaviour reminded me of Marcus, the ancient Volturi vampire whose manner and behavior resembled that of a dead log.

A while later Jacob came back, looking warily at the stranger.

For the first time, the man showed a flicker of surprise. 'You're that giant wolf.' It wasn't a question, it was a statement. How had he connected so quickly the image of my best friend with the russet wolf? It had taken _me_ more than a week to see the connection. 'Nice Limit Break,' he complimented.

'Huh?' Jacob said. 'Nice _what?_'

'Limit Break,' the man explained. 'The thing that you turn to when you, uh, get really angry.' Wow, the longest sentence he said so far. I was starting to think he was mentally handicapped.

'What are you?' Emmett asked.

'Aha!,' he said, not answering Emmett's question at all. 'I know how to get back. Well, goodbye, everyone. It was nice meeting you.' I detected a touch of sarcasm in his voice.

The man wrapped his tattered cloak around himself, and I saw a bright flash of light. When the flash faded, I caught a glimpse of his tattered cloak gliding back to our house.

'I generally don't believe in ghosts,' Jacob said. 'But that thing really looked like one.'

We followed the wispy strands back to the basement, and saw it dive into the coffin. A moment later, there was another burst of light, and the coffin vanished.

'Well, that was random,' Edward commented.

'I think that Valentine's gone,' I said in the silence that followed.

'Aww,' Alice complained. 'If he stayed around for _just_ another hour all our human friends would call him a vampire dress-up connoisseur!'


	2. St Valentine's Day

'You're really improving,' Edward complimented. 'Although I _do_ miss your torn dresses. It made you look much nicer,' he teased.

I smoothed down my hair and looked at the cold, drained carcass of a bear at my feet. It had been nearly a year since my transformation, and now I no longer came out of hunting trips looking like the survivor of an earthquake. I had learnt how to hunt and kill without tearing my clothes, although I had not perfected it like Edward. He was spotless, but there were areas where the bear's claws tangled my hair. I looked very disheveled standing next to him.

'Give me another year and I'll be able to hunt like you,' I said, wrapping my arms around him and kissing him.

'Are you feeling human today?' he asked, a twinkle in his eyes.

'Er, what?' I said, somewhat confused. 'Is Charlie hanging around our house?'

'No,' Edward said. 'It's Valentine's Day today! Will you be my Valentine?'

'That's only for people who are _dating_,' I scoffed. 'It hardly applies to us. Besides, I don't want to eat chocolate.'

'We hardly have any human moments,' Edward smiled. 'It wouldn't hurt to celebrate one.'

'Yeah,' I said sarcastically. 'I'm sure vampires from all over the world are swapping pink scented cards right now.'

'You are so stubborn,' he laughed. 'Alright, no human celebrations then.'

We ran back to our house, although _ran_ wasn't quite the word. More like _flew_. Leaves and branches whistled past as I raced Edward back home.

'Oh and by the way,' he said casually, 'Emmett wants another arm wrestling match with you.'

'I thought only Alice could see the future?'

'I picked the thought out of his head before we left.'

I grimaced. Most of my newborn vampire strength was gone, and Emmett was slowly beginning to win all our arm wrestling matches. Very soon he would resume being the strongest vampire in the Cullen household.

Suddenly, Edward stopped. I blew past him and circled back.

'What is it?'

'This.' He held out a shredded piece of red cloth. 'Remind you of someone?'

'No.'

'Don't you think it looks like part of the cape that that Valentine fellow wore when we saw him last Halloween?'

'Don't be silly,' I said. 'You're only saying that because it's Valentine's Day today. I'm sure there are lots of people who wear red. It's probably some hiker whose cloths got torn on the tree.'

'I wonder if he _is_ related to St Valentine,' Edward mused.

'Who, that red eyed guy?' I asked. 'Vincent?'

'Yes.'

'I doubt it,' I replied. 'In fact, I don't think his real name is Vincent Valentine. Maybe Vincent is his first name, but how many people do you know have Valentine as a last name?'

'There are people called Valentino though,' Edward said as he threw the red rag on the ground. 'You know, you hear about it all in the movies. Señor Valentino.'

'Who's that?' I asked.

'Oh I don't know,' Edward shrugged. 'But it's some character in a book or movie. Let's get back.' He took my hand and we raced back to our house. However, we were almost home when we heard a deafening roar.

'Sounds like a bear,' Edward said. 'A really angry bear.'

'Shall we save the human who's in trouble?' I suggested. He nodded. Together, we bolted towards the source of the roar. I hoped that the injured human would not be bleeding too badly. I wasn't too sure of my restraint if fresh blood was running right under my nose.

Through a gap in the trees, I saw the back of a woman wearing red and black with golden boots standing before the monstrous form of a rearing bear. She did not appear to be frightened, and merely lunged forward to punch the bear. It sailed through the air and crashed to a stop at the base of a tree. The woman then walked slowly toward the great beast, pulling out a gun as she went. Sunlight glinted off a piece of silver that hung from the end of the gun.

The gun looked strangely familiar. I edged closer.

The bear, however, had no wish to be close to the her. It picked itself up and stood shakily, legs wobbling, then scuttled away into the forest, limping slightly.

Where did she get the strength from? I wondered. Was she a vampire too?

It was then that the woman turned around and looked at us.

Not a woman. A _man_.

A man with red eyes and long hair that looked like a woman from the back.

Vincent Valentine.

'Oh, it's you,' I said, looking at him unimpressively.

He half-smiled. 'What? Don't like me being around here?'

'Hey, you can talk!' I exclaimed.

'I've always been able to.' He looked at me like I was a fool.

'Well, the last time we met, you hardly said a word,' I said.

'I don't talk unless necessary,' he told me.

'Well that's nice,' I replied. 'What are you doing in this place?'

'Got landed in here when I was experimenting and now I'm stuck in this world.' It was so unusual to hear this man use more than one word at a time that all I could do was stare.

'So you're not from around here,' Edward concluded.

'Do I look like I'm around here?'

Edward rolled his eyes. I didn't have to be a mind-reader to know that he thought Valentine was a retard. 'Well, you could be in costume, like we were last time,' he said. 'And anyway, is that all you ever wear?' he gestured at the black leather outfit and tattered cloak.

'No,' Valentine replied. 'I used to be a Tur –' he cut himself off abruptly and I saw sorrow mirror in his eyes. Wow, the guy actually had some emotions. Maybe he wasn't as Marcus-like as I thought.

'What I wear is none of your business,' he then snapped. I suspected this burst of anger was triggered by his earlier show of sadness.

Edward shrugged. 'Fine. Goodbye, Mr Valentine.' He tugged my hand and we ran home, leaving the man far behind.

'That was rude!' I scolded as our house came into view.

'I doubt he'll mind,' Edward replied. 'The guy's insane –'

'Who's insane?' Alice asked curiously.

'Valentine,' I answered.

'What? Is someone's Valentine insane?'

'No,' I chuckled at Alice's confusion. 'Valentine. Vincent. You know, that red eyed vampire guy we met last year during Halloween.'

Alice laughed. 'I never thought about it that way! Vincent _Valentine_. How cute! His girlfriend could probably say "Vincent is my Valentine".'

'Ha ha,' Edward said sarcastically. 'Well, we've found him wandering around in the forest.'

'What, just then?'

'Yep,' I said. 'And guess what? He single handedly fought off a bear.'

'Who wrestled a bear and won?' demanded Emmett, dashing down the stairs.

'Just because _you_ lost a fight to a bear –'

'Bella!' Emmett roared, spotting me. 'Rematch! And this time, I'm gonna win!'

'Emmett, please,' Edward sighed. 'We have a slight problem right now.'

'I wouldn't really call Vincent a problem though,' Alice said.

'Alice, that man just defeated a bear using his bare hands. He is definitely not human. He's dangerous. I want to find out exactly _what_ he is before he goes wandering about in the woods. What if he starts attacking humans?' Edward asked. 'We can't let him blunder about unchecked.'

'Well, nothing bad happened last Halloween,' she pointed out.

'Still,' Edward persisted. 'I want to keep him in sight until I find out who he really is.'

'No need for that,' Emmett observed.

'Why?'

'Look.' Emmett pointed at a figure approaching from the fringe of trees. 'Here he comes.'

'That's _Jacob_,' I said, rolling my eyes and punching him lightly. 'You really need your eyes checked.'

'What's going on?' Jacob asked as he approached. 'Is Nessie sick?'

'No, she's fine,' I assured him. Lately, Jacob's obsession with my daughter's safety was really starting to annoy me. 'Rose is with her. We're worried about Valentine.'

'Why? Is there something wrong with today?'

'No, not Valentine's Day. We're talking about Vincent. You know, that red eyed guy that nearly crashed our party last Halloween.'

'Oh, him!' Jacob exclaimed, recognition dawning in his voice. 'The one who said something about my limiting rakes.'

'Limiting brake,' Edward corrected.

'No, it was limit brake,' Alice argued.

'Whatever,' Edward said, exasperated. 'The point is, he's loose in the woods and I want to make sure he doesn't get up to any mischief. Don't you think there's something funny about him?'

'Well, no point in hanging around,' Emmett said enthusiastically, rubbing his hands. 'Let's go find him! Lead the way, little bro.'

'He might not be there,' Edward said doubtfully. 'He could've moved since we last saw him.'

To a human perhaps, navigating through a forest without a compass or map, it would be impossible to find one's way back to an exact location. But to a vampire (and most likely, a werewolf) navigating through a forest was no problem. Edward and I led the way back unerringly, although I knew that returning to the spot where we met Valentine would be pointless. He would have definitely moved.

So you can imagine my surprise when I found Valentine in the exact same spot where we left him, only this time he was sitting down. He had one arm propped behind him, and one arm rested on his knee, which was bent upright. The pose reminded me of a male fashion model. I suppressed a smile of amusement.

Valentine looked up as he saw us approach. Like before, he radiated calm. His crimson eyes regarded us steadily. In one fluid motion, he stood up. A light breeze tousled his hair and caused his cape to billow out, revealing ragged holes. I wasn't much of a clothes person (that was Alice's job) but looking at his shredded cloak really made me want to tear it off and replace it.

'What is it now?' he asked in a bored tone. Huh, his earlier show of emotion had worn off. He was back to being Marcus.

'We've come to ask what you are doing here,' Edward said.

'I told you already,' he replied. 'I was experimenting and I got stuck.'

'And?'

'And I got stuck,' he repeated, looking somewhat annoyed. 'Meaning, I can't get back to my own world.'

Okay, Edward was right. This guy was insane. I wondered what imaginary world he was talking about.

'Well, that's a shame,' Emmett said. 'Wanna arm wrestle?'

Valentine merely raised his eyebrows and turned to leave. However, Jacob lunged forward to grab him. In a flash, Valentine whipped out his gun and pointed the sleek black triple barrels at his chest. The speed was startling. Unnatural. Inhuman.

There was a feral growl as Jacob exploded into a wolf. His clothes ripped as his bulk expanded. The rest of us tensed, ready for battle, but Valentine did not start in fear. His eyes flashed gold and red smoke began to swirl about him. For the first time, I noticed that there were three snarling wolf heads sitting on the barrels of his gun. They seemed strangely alive.

The triple heads of his gun were pointed directly at the bared fangs of Jacob. Wolf against wolf.

Hadn't Edward said, last year, when the Volturi came to 'punish' us, that the Quilettes weren't really werewolves? That they were more correctly called shapeshifters? And hadn't he also told me that true werewolves existed?

If Renesmee was half-human, half-vampire, was it possible that this Valentine was half-werewolf, half-vampire? It would account for his speed, red eyes and connection with wolves.

Or what if he was a pure werewolf? I had never met one before, and I doubted anyone in Forks or La Push had either, so _could_ real werewolves have red eyes?

What if he wasn't insane, and the 'world' that he was talking about was his werewolf pack? _What if he was lost and separated from his pack?_

One thing was for certain: Vincent Valentine must not be allowed to return to his pack until we determined his true nature.


	3. The Lifestream

'Jake, look who I've found!'

The youthful voice of Seth cut through the tension.

Edward stepped forward. 'Give up, Valentine. You're outnumbered.'

Then something strange happened. The red smoke swirling about Valentine seemed to solidify into bat wings. His body began to glow, much like the other time at our Halloween party. Was this what werewolves looked like when they felt threatened? Surely, _surely_, werewolves couldn't produce wings and red smoke?

'Vincent, old buddy, I finally found you!' a rough, new voice joined us.

'Everyone, this is Cid,' Seth introduced, completely oblivious to the tension. 'And Cid, this is…' his eyes widened as he took in the sight of Jacob and Valentine poised to fight.

I sneaked a look at the stranger Seth brought. He was blond, with blue eyes and an olive complexion. He wore a blue T-shirt with a jumper tied around his waist. A gigantic pair of goggles rested over his eyes. 'Whoa…' he said, looking at the massive form of Jacob. 'What a beast!' He raised a long spear and aimed it –

'No!' Seth shouted and yanked the spear away. 'Don't shoot Jake!'

'_Cid?_' Valentine asked without turning.

'Jake bro,' said Seth. 'It's fine. They're harmless.'

Jacob relaxed slightly, though his eyes were still focused suspiciously on Valentine.

'I _think_ they're alright,' the blond man said to Valentine, eyeing Jacob warily. 'I mean, this young fella here –' he gestured at Seth, 'has told me a bit about their lives. They're probably not the bad guys.'

Valentine sheathed his gun. The red smoke and golden eyes subsided. 'What are you doing here?'

'Yuffie asked me to follow you to see what you were doing, so I did, and now I don't know how to get back.'

'Well, don't worry,' Valentine assured. 'You won't need to know how to get back for at least another four months.'

'Four months!' the man exclaimed. 'Why in the bloody name of materia would it take that long? You told us you were only here for a few minutes last time!'

'I didn't realise there was a twelve hour difference between this world and ours,' he replied.

'So?'

'The portal's still open here, but the time's expired on The Planet.'

The man blinked for a few seconds. 'Right. I'll just pretend I understood that.'

Seth laughed. His friendship with the blond man worried me. The man was clearly in league with Valentine, who was a bit dodgy. What if this Cid was the same? What if they were both monsters? And who was Yuffie? Could she be another werewolf?

'What's the Planet?' I asked. A fight didn't seem likely right now, so it was probably safe to talk.

'The Planet is where we live,' Valentine explained with an air of maddening calm.

'Duh we live on planets,' Edward broke in. 'We can hardly live on moons or stars, can we?'

'No, no, The Planet is where _we_ live,' the blond man clarified. 'Our planet's called The Planet.'

Right. This Cid was just as mad as Valentine. What was with the two thinking they were from another planet called 'The Planet'? What a stupid name! Perhaps all werewolves were this strange. Hmmm. Maybe the full moon's lunar rays had addled their brains.

'Well then, goodbye,' Valentine said, and made as if to go. I planted myself in his way.

'Hey, not so fast,' I said firmly. Would he attack me?

'Aww, come on, Vincent, we can stay for a little longer,' The blond man laid one hand on his shoulder. 'Apparently these – these Cullens live in a mansion. Don't you want to see it?'

'Ugh,' he replied. 'I've seen too much of it.'

'Well, I think we should go,' the man said decisively and towed Valentine after him. Did Valentine allow himself to be dragged, or was this Cid extremely strong? Whatever it was, the two of them followed Seth tamely home. Jacob trotted after them anxiously, leaving the four of us behind, slightly confused.

'You know, it's _our_ house,' Alice grumbled. 'And those wolves and two lunatics are treating it like it's theirs!'

'I think Valentine's an actual werewolf,' I suggested. 'You know, those full moon ones.'

'No, he can_not_ be one,' Edward said. 'True werewolves, Children of the Moon, do not have red eyes. All of them have gold eyes.'

'Gold!' I said. 'Didn't you see him just then, when he was about to attack Jacob, he sprouted wings and his eyes turned gold?'

'Wings?' Emmett repeated incredulously, laughing. 'I didn't see anything but a bit of red smoke. He must've hid some sort of smoke bomb underneath his cape.'

'They aren't human or vampire though,' Alice said. 'I can't see either of their futures.'

'You can't?' Edward said. 'That's strange - I can't read their minds. Both of them.' There was an uncomfortable pause. 'Look,' he continued. 'There's no point in standing around here. Let's go back, and hopefully we can worm some answers out of those two.'

'That Cid might blab, but I doubt Valentine'll say a word.'

***

Ten minutes later we managed to convince Cid and Valentine (well, mostly Cid. Valentine just followed his lead) to be seated with us around Esme's antique table. With us was the rest of my family and the whole of Jacob's pack (Leah took almost as much convincing as Valentine did. Huh, those two could be an item.)

'Tell us how you got here,' Jasper said.

'Hey now,' Valentine said dangerously. 'Don't order me around.'

'And this is _our_ house,' Rosalie hissed. 'So you follow the rules.'

'Fine.' He got up. 'I'm leaving.'

Cid, who had become very friendly after we gave him a glass of beer, grabbed his arm. 'Come on, Vince, we'll be here four damn months anyway. May as well make ourselves home.'

Valentine glared at us for a while. 'Oh all right,' he sighed, and sat back down. Then he paused for so long that I was beginning to wonder if he fell asleep with his eyes open. 'Every planet has a Lifestream.'

Edward shot me a look that plainly said, _pretend to believe in him_. I nodded.

'By the way,' Cid said suddenly. 'Why did you block your phone from all incoming calls?'

'We're on a different planet. Of course our phones won't work here.'

'But it was back in Midgar,' Cid said. 'And I just kept getting this message that said you blocked all incoming calls.' Right, note to self, I thought. Check up Midgar on Google. It was probably some place in South America.

'Oh, that,' Valentine rolled his eyes. 'Yuffie kept calling me so I blocked everyone.'

'Then why not block just _her_ instead of everyone?'

'Yeah, that's really going to work. Because then she'll use Cloud's phone.'

'Be fair,' Cid said in a reasonable voice. 'She only called you twice.'

'It's my phone. She's got no right to call it.'

'Who's Yuffie?' Alice asked. 'And isn't the point of having a phone to call people?'

Valentine completely ignored her. 'Anyway, the Lifestream. You know about it, yes?' Only Cid nodded. The rest of us stared at him with blank expressions. 'Evidently not,' he concluded. 'The Lifestream is…the life and will of a planet. Just like we can interact with each other, planets can interact with one another through their Lifestreams.

'On every planet there are sites where the Lifestream concentration is very high. These sites are very rare. If someone where to stand in that place, they would be able to connect with the planet. The planets all…remember. On the anniversary of any event which leaves its mark on the history of the planet, the Lifestream will become especially active. Sometimes, two or more planets may be active on the same day, though their commemorative anniversaries may be different. During those days, if a person were to find a site where the Lifestream concentration is high, they will be able to teleport to another site on another planet where the Lifestream concentration is also high, for the planets can interact with one another.

'And that,' concluded Valentine, 'is how we got here. The day has passed back on The Planet, so the portal is closed, though it is open here. This is why we cannot return until the portal re-opens in four months time'

I gaped at him. 'You haven't got some personality disorder, have you?'

'No. Why?'

'That was…like a lecture. I was under the impression that you didn't talk unless necessary.' I told him. He shrugged.

'So what special day is today on The Planet?' Cid asked.

'There is a twelve hour difference between this planet and ours. So today is nothing. Yesterday on The Planet was the anniversary of the Shinra mansion explosion.'

'How's that important?'

'Shinra was leeching the life from The Planet, wasn't it? So it was a quite significant event when the building exploded,' Valentine explained.

'I see,' Cid said, then turned to me. 'What special day is today?'

'Er,' I hesitated and cast a pleading look at Alice for help. What would Valentine say if I told him today was Valentine's day? She shook her head and looked equally lost. 'Don't laugh,' I warned. 'Today is St Valentine's Day.'

Valentine showed no emotion, though Cid burst out laughing. 'Well, what d'you know, old pal,' he said, thumping Valentine's back so hard that I could hear loud thuds, 'you're a big hero here as well!'

'Hero?' Rosalie repeated incredulously. A loud howl suddenly pierced the air, high and urgent.

'That'll be Sam,' Jacob said, listening. 'Sounds bad. I'd better go. Catch up on you later.' He sprinted out the door.

'Yeah, he saved the world,' Cid replied casually, resuming the conversation.

'From what?' she asked scornfully. 'A meteor?'

Cid brightened. 'No, that was me! Well, not really. I flew the airship, does that count?' He paused. 'I _did_ manage to stab Sephiroth, though it didn't do a single bit of good. Nah, Vince saved the world from Omega.'

By now I'd completely given up asking them questions. There was no point. They'd only reply with a stranger, more confusing answer. Alice, however, persisted. 'Who's Sephiroth and Omega?'

'Omega's a giant thing with a damn lot of power. And Sephiroth's a big ugly fellow with a whole load of hair and a friggin' long sword. By the way, what anniversary's in four month's time?'

'Battle at the Northern Crater,' Valentine reminded.

I considered the two. It was easy to dismiss their words as the ravings of two maniacs. With all that Lifestream nonsense, saving the world and Sephiroth and Omega and airships, it was likely enough that those two were mad. But a small part of me remembered Valentine's sudden appearance last Halloween and how he seemed to magically vanish. Of course, at the time I had thought nothing of it and focused on the party (where, thankfully, no human realised I had transformed and assumed my pasty complexion to be the result of Alice's makeup).

Could it be possible that the two _were_ from different worlds? Scientists were forever saying that there were billions of planets in the universe, and the chances of artificial intelligence were very high. But the two were not really aliens...

A door slammed and Jacob's face peered into the room.

'Carlisle?' he asked. 'We've got a bit of a problem. Could you come?'

'I'll come too,' Edward said, reading Jacob's mind. 'Jasper and Alice, you should come. Maybe Bella as well.' Emmett looked extremely disappointed. I followed the four out the room.

'What is it?'

'There's been a strange vampire in the vicinity. Jared spotted him on one of his patrols, and he also found the body of a human hiker. Sam's pack chased him off the borders, but he keeps coming back to kill more people. We'll have to hunt him down.'

Jasper smiled slightly, which I thought was rather odd. He was a superb fighter, but he never expressed any enjoyment in killing a vampire –

'Excellent!' Edward hissed triumphantly, plainly having read Jasper's plan.

'Will you two tell us what's going on?' Alice demanded.

Edward's eyes were bright with excitement. 'There's a vampire loose in woods which we need to deal with, right? And we're not sure how dangerous that Valentine is to us. So why not make _him_ fight the vampire? That way, we can assess how much of a threat he really is. If he loses, too bad, we can deal with the lone vampire ourselves. And if he wins, well...'

Carlisle's lips pursed. 'I can't pretend that I like Vincent, but using him in this way seems rather –'

'I like it,' Jacob declared. 'I guess we'll miss out on the fun, but hey, we might get to see Valentine in action. What do you think?' he grinned. 'Reckon he'll be up to the challenge?'


	4. Cousin of the Devil

**_TRIVIAL SIDENOTE: Tomorrow's actually going to be Valentine's Day! Anyway, back to the story....told from Bella's POV_**

'It's the only way, Carlisle,' Edward reasoned. 'How else can we be sure that Valentine is of no threat to us?'

'Look,' Jasper said. 'We'll all be at the sides, watching. We'll be there to monitor the situation. Nobody needs to get hurt. There's eight of us, Jacob's pack, _and_ Sam's pack. We've got more than enough to protect everyone.'

I didn't like the idea much either, although I _was_ very curious to see Valentine fight – how could anyone move around in all those layers of leather and metal?

'Well that's settled then,' Jacob said and walked into the living room, followed by Jasper.

'Hey there Vincent,' I head him say in the next room. 'I know we didn't get off to a good start, but there's been a rogue vampire running around outside and we need your help to destroy it.'

I heard the sound of a chair being scraped back.

'Awesome.' Cid's voice. 'Count me in.'

***

For someone who carried a weapon twenty-four-seven, I suppose fighting would only be natural. Both Cid and Valentine heartily agreed to 'help' us eradicate the troublesome vampire, not realizing it to be a test. A test which I hoped they would not pass.

Carlisle, after reluctantly agreeing to our plan, supplied us with a bag of donated human blood to draw out the rogue vampire. Not all of us took part – only Jacob's pack, Edward, Emmett, Jasper, Alice and I. The wolves made themselves invisible in the bush, while the rest of us hid in the trees, ready to drop down should Valentine fail.

The scent of the fresh blood we poured on the ground wafted into the trees where I hid, distracting me, igniting the flames of thirst in my throat. I did my best to suppress it, but Cid and Valentine were two live creatures with blood pulsing strongly in their veins…warm, running blood, walking slowly beneath the trees. So easy to drop down on them…

I shook my head and, as a distraction, tried to focus on our earlier conversation, where I asked Cid and Valentine if they were werewolves. Both vehemently denied, and Cid said _human_ while Valentine remained silent when I asked what they really were. Evidently, Cid was lying, for Alice couldn't see his future at all.

'He's here!' Alice whispered. 'Or rather, he'll be coming here in five minutes.'

We waited…

And waited…

And waited…

'There!' Alice whispered triumphantly, nodding her head at a clump of shrubs to my left. I forgot the scent of the human blood as I saw Valentine and Cid turn. The shrubs moved, parted, and out stepped a tall vampire with blond hair and brilliant crimson eyes brighter than Valentine's.

He lifted his head and sniffed the air, no doubt savouring the scent of the human blood.

'Yar!' Cid yelled and charged, thrusting his spear out in front of him.

_Fool!_ I wanted to shout, seeing the vampire swiftly dodge. But the spear _did_ hit, and, instead of snapping when it came into contact with the vampire's granite skin, went clean through him, ripping out a chunk of his arm. This was no ordinary spear, I realised. A fission of fear went through me. Cid could easily kill –

The vampire gave a roar of agony, ripped the spear out of his arm and punched Cid, sending him flying into a tree. Valentine ran forward, whipped out his gun and fired, fired, fired.

No effect.

I heard the thunderous cracks when the bullets came into contact with vampire skin, and tiny white pieces _did_ come flying off (which, judging by the look on the rogue vampire's face, caused pain), but there was absolutely no way Valentine could kill a vampire. I relaxed. Valentine was of no threat to us. I gathered myself and prepared to jump down to save his life.

'Look!' Alice said.

The vampire lunged at Valentine, who ducked and avoided the blow easily. Man, that guy really had speed. He then jumped forward, and like he did with the bear yesterday, punched the vampire, causing him to fly through the air and crash through the underbrush.

Enraged, the rogue vampire picked himself up and charged at Valentine, who raised his gun and began to fire nonstop. Smoke hissed from the barrels. Did he have unlimited ammunition? Surely, sooner or later the bullets would run out. And where was the red smoke and gold eyes?

The vampire swung his arm through the air, but Valentine used his gun like a bat and blocked the blow. When he used his other fist, Valentine rammed his armoured arm forward, twisted and sent him sprawling.

I looked closely at the metal. It was not even dented.

'Way to go, Vince!' Cid cheered, having gotten up and recovered. He seemed content to stand at the side and watch. Weird. Why wasn't he helping his friend?

Cid's voice seemed to rouse the stunned vampire. He picked himself up again and came at Valentine angrily, but I could see that this time he was more cautious, and advanced slower than before.

Confidence radiated from Valentine. He did not even break a sweat, which made me wonder – _could_ he sweat? He wasn't human after all.

As though to show off his agility, Valentine vaulted over the vampire's head and did a complete somersault. I goggled at his acrobatics. He could make an Olympic gymnast jealous…

The vampire spun to face him. They closed in on each other, then Valentine raked his claws across the other vampire's face. A hideous screeching ensued, much like the sound of fingernails on a blackboard. The vampire gave a shriek of pain, clutched his face and backed away cautiously.

Then he lunged. He feinted to the left, causing Valentine to dodge to the right, and followed through with a full powered blow that hit its target, smashing straight into Valentine's face.

'Ouch,' Emmett winced, and fidgeted slightly. I could tell he wanted to join the fight.

Valentine staggered back several steps, though he appeared to be unharmed. Wow. I couldn't see any physical injuries, but he seemed to be slightly dazed. The blond vampire took this opportunity to grab the front of his cape and lift him high.

'How do you like it now, freak?' he hissed, and launched him into the trees. Valentine's body was a blur as it flew through the air.

What happened next was totally unexpected. Valentine's body, instead of being stopped by a tree, sailed clean _through_ it. And it wasn't a sapling either. It was a giant, full grown pine tree.

He managed to snap_ that_ clean in two. Leaves, bark and splinters flew in every direction as the tree fell. I lost sight of his body, but three more trees behind the pine also groaned and fell, indicating that Valentine had destroyed those three as well.

There was debris everywhere, but all I could think of was: _Valentine's body must be made of diamonds or something._ How could anyone destroy four trees in a row just by being thrown into them?

'Vincent!' Cid shouted in panic.

I was about to jump down from the trees when the pile of debris exploded with the force of a small bomb. Red smoke issued everywhere.

Cid's face, previously transformed with anger at seeing his friend fall, now wore a very smug expression.

_Clank. Clank. Clank. Clank._

A monster emerged from the explosion.

Literally, a monster. A demon.

What the Devil's cousin must look like.

It was a towering, grey skinned beast with giant bat wings. Elaborate armour encased both its feet, knees and left hand. Grey lines of some stiff material spanned from the center of its body to its sides.

Valentine. Of that there was no doubt. I saw the glowing golden eyes and bat wings.

The red bandage which he had wrapped around his head had now morphed into a complicated headdress that was spiky and covered most of his head. The top half of his red cape had dissolved into his body so as to look like a red breastplate. The ragged trimmings of his cape had turned into ragged wing flaps.

A white light pulsed at the chest of the creature like a bright target. I briefly wondered what would happen if I drove a sharpened stake of wood through it…

The creature gave one tremendous, shattering roar of rage and raised a heavy black and silver weapon slightly smaller than a rifle. It resembled a gun, only a gun, or any weapon for that matter, would not have four rectangular barrels.

It aimed this peculiar weapon at the blond vampire and fired. He, like us, had opened his mouth with shock at the monster, but on seeing the weapon pointed at him, he came to his senses and ran a short distance away.

So the shot, a vicious, white beam of light, missed and hit the tree behind instead.

The tree was not pockmarked. It did not explode. It _vaporised_.

A charred lump marked where it once stood.

Now if _that_ hit the vampire…

I guess the rogue vampire probably figured out the fight was lost and that the forest was now a very unsafe place to be in. He turned on his heel and bolted.

The demonic creature spread its wings and soared up, up, up, over the treetops and into the sky until it became a speck of black against a vast background of blue. At first I wondered what it was doing so high up, then I realised that it was giving an aerial chase.

There was a rustle as Jacob's pack pursued.

'I'm going after him,' Edward announced and jumped down from his tree. The rest of us followed his lead. I saw Cid running in my peripheral vision.

As I ran, I felt sorry for the blond vampire. It was evident that the demon in the sky could easily keep pace, which meant that sooner or later, when the four-barrelled weapon tore into his body, there would be one less vampire in the world.

When we neared a clearing the demon dived from the sky. I caught a glimpse of its outstretched arm holding the weapon before it whooshed past my head and fired at the fleeing vampire.

The doomed vampire gave one despairing cry when the ray of white light slammed into him. Thundering cracks filled the air as he shattered. The battered pieces of him lay inert and smoking on the ground. A stunned silence descended on the forest. Most of us were frozen in horror.

The demon landed – slowly, gracefully, and walked to the spot where the rogue vampire was annihilated. Calmly, it pointed its weapon at the pieces and melted the broken remains.

There was a sizzling sound and a ghastly smell of burning. When the pieces were gone, silence fell again. A ring of eyes stared at the demon.

'One word of warning,' Alice whispered, as though afraid to let it hear her. 'Don't get Vincent angry.'

'That Valentine,' I said slowly, too shocked to think about anything else, 'is definitely no werewolf. He's a…' A what? I asked myself. A demon?

_**PLEASE NOTE: At the end of DoC (Dirge of Cerberus)**__**Vincent says to Lucrecia 'Chaos and Omega have returned to The Planet' (or something along the lines of that). I don't really get it, and it sounds like Chaos is no longer one of his Limit Breaks. If Chaos still is, then great, this chapter makes sense. But if Vincent loses Chaos by the end of DoC…well, let's just pretend he hasn't, it makes him sound much more epic this way and I don't really want to spend a chapter explaining how he miraculously regained Chaos. 'Sides, Vincent and Chaos go together.**_


	5. Easter Part I

_**It's been quite a while since I've updated - I've just started uni and so my time is short. Thanks to everyone giving me reviews, really appreciate it! Anyway, this chapter has a third crossover in it (try to guess! Though it's kinda obvious). It'll only stretch on to the next chapter, and I don't really know if there is a button on FanFic that will allow me to chuck in the third one, but since it'll only last two chapters I guess it doesn't matter. Oh and about introducing Yuffie...well, she's not one of my favourite characters (in fact, one of my least favourite) so I don't think I'll do a very good job of bringing her into the story. But I'll think about it! Told from Bella's POV...thanks for reading!**_

'Your planet seems to have a lot of anniversaries,' Valentine observed, flicking through our calendar.

'So what's the exact date that we'll be returning?' Cid asked without looking up from a motorbike catalogue.

'Hmm.' Valentine tapped his golden index claw at the dates in June, counting silently. When he reached halfway through, he frowned and began to recount.

'Lost count?' Rosalie said with a slight sneer. She hadn't quite forgiven the two for turning up unexpectedly this morning after nearly two months of absence…

***

We were hunting, almost at the Denalis, when Esme spotted a gleaming car roaring nimbly through the forest.

'What sort of people would think to drive a car through a forest?'

'Lunatics?' Edward had replied.

'You're right,' Rosalie said sourly. 'Look, that demon retard and his drunk buddy are hanging around Forks again.'

'Careful!' I told her at the time. 'What if Valentine hears you? He might turn into a demon again and kill you!'

'Demon!' she had replied rather disdainfully. 'He didn't harm any of us last time.'

It was true, but a twinge of unease still settled in my stomach. Valentine did return to his normal form after he vanquished the rogue vampire, although after assuring us that he wouldn't lose his temper he vanished into the forest along with Cid, and even though we asked for Sam's help we couldn't find a single trace of the two. We hadn't seen them since then either.

'Can we borrow your house tomorrow?' Cid yelled, sticking his head out the window.

'What! No way! Why?'

'You've got another little anniversary and we feel like visiting a couple of other worlds.'

'Yeah, that's right,' Rosalie said loudly. 'Just treat our house like a free hotel.'

'It won't take long.'

We relented then, mainly due to our fear of Valentine's transmogrification, and also the fact that Cid wouldn't shut up unless we agreed.

***

Valentine gave a heavy sigh.

'What?' I asked, still puzzling over where the two could have spent their two months. They'd blatantly refused to tell me, though Valentine said 'searching'. When I asked about their interactions with other people, both kept their mouths stubbornly shut. I had half a mind to call in the Volturi to get them interrogated. No doubt Valentine could succumb to Jane's ability…or could he? He was immune to Edward after all.

'They don't match.'

'What don't match?'

'The dates. Your, uh,' he looked uncertainly at the calendar, '_Father's Day_ celebration is one day ahead of our anniversary.'

'_Father's_ Day?' Cid repeated incredulously. 'You guys celebrate a day for _fathers?_'

'So you can't get back until Halloween.'

'There is a way,' Carlisle said suddenly.

'And that is…?'

'America is one day behind some countries such as Australia. Well, sixteen hours to be exact. If you time it correctly the nineteenth of June will be the twentieth in some countries.'

Cid looked at Valentine. 'So, er, do you know how to find them?'

'Sure,' Valentine replied. 'Tomorrow is Good's Friday –'

'_Good_ Friday,' Emmett corrected.

'– so if we stand inside the portal in Forks here we should be able to teleport ourselves to another planet or any other portal on Earth.'

***

'Okay, Vincent,' Emmett said the next day as we crowded into the basement. 'Today is Good Friday. A special day. If you can teleport us to other places I'll believe you came from another planet. Otherwise I'll just continue to assume you're lying.'

Valentine said nothing. He walked slowly in circles, head bowed in concentration. 'Here. I found it,' he called out. We (Alice, Jasper, Emmett, Rosalie, Edward and I) swarmed around him, looking at the floor for any sign that it could be a portal.

'I don't see anything,' Emmett said.

'Keep quiet and focus.'

I stared at the floor. Focus? Focus on what?

'I can feel it!' Alice said in excitement.

Slowly, the floor seemed to grow warm. Sparkling green strands rose like wisps to swirl around us. Then, faster than I could blink, we were surrounded by darkness. Fine gossamer strands of green drifted slowly in the air.

In the darkness, I saw a dim, faraway view of our basement, rather like looking through the wrong end of a telescope. Next to it, there were two more images of other places; one was a long hallway with a glass table and a little key, the other was a barren sandy plain with no distinct landmarks.

'Let's go to that one,' Emmett suggested, and made as if to walk into the sandy plain.

'No!' Rosalie gripped his arm. 'What if we can't get back? That place has no distinct landmarks! We'll get lost if we walk in!'

'No, no, we won't,' Emmett said confidently and strode forward into the image. We stared at each other uneasily.

When Rosalie follwed, I took a deep breath and went after her. There was a rush of sound as the green strands gently wrapped themselves around us. I gave a yell and tried to shake them from my limbs – it was like having an octopus cling on to me. The threads refused to budge, and instead dissolved into my skin. A shock ran through my body, causing me to twitch involuntarily, then the next instant we found ourselves standing in the desert at nighttime. The sparkling green strands faded slowly into the air. _So Valentine was telling the truth about portals_, I realised.

'Okay Valentine, I believe you now,' Emmett said, kicking up a shower of sand. 'Is it just me, or is this place extremely cold?'

'It _is_ cold,' Edward agreed, 'but is this Earth? Or are we actually on another planet?'

''course it's Earth,' Alice said, then inclined her head at the horizon. 'Can't you see the camels?'

'So?' Edward said. 'They could _look_ like camels for all you know. I mean, Cid and Vincent look sort of like us but they're not, and they're from another planet.'

'_Ah_,' Emmett said casually. 'But we only have their word on that. What if they're from some random place like Swahili?'

'Swahili's a language, not a country,' I informed him.

'I thought you believed him?' Edward said, raising his eyebrows.

'The portals, yes, but not the planet thing.'

'Well in any case,' Alice reasoned. 'It's pointless to stand here. If this is Earth, then all we have to do is stand in the basement sometime in the afternoon on the nineteenth; that gets you to the next day –'

'But then it'll be the _twentieth_,' Edward argued. 'Which is completely pointless –'

'Oh who cares!' Emmett said in an exasperated tone. 'Cid and Vincent can't get home till Halloween. Can we go back and check out that long hallway? It looks interesting. I wanna know what that key opens.'

I looked at Valentine. 'You don't mind? That you can't go home until Halloween?'

'Yes, I do, but there's nothing I can do about it.'

We crowded back into the spot we came in, and I felt the familiar rush of darkness as it engulfed us. Suddenly, Cid squealed – a strange sound for him to make – and pointed into the darkness and swirling strands.

'Sephiroth!'

'_What?_ Where?'

'There! Look!'

Valentine peered carefully through the curtain of green.

'I don't see anything.'

'I'm telling you, he was there!'

'Ah well,' Valentine said indifferently. 'If he's found another planet to terrorise that's none of our business.'

'Who's Sephiroth?' Alice asked. The name jogged my memory…

'Arrogant guy with a mouth bigger than his brains,' Cid replied. 'So if you see a white haired arsehole bragging about how great he is, that's probably Sephiroth.'

'Or an old lawyer,' Alice muttered. Jasper smiled.

'So the other portal now?' Emmett said eagerly and stepped into the blurry image of the hallway.

'Emmett, wait!' Edward protested, but Emmett merely grinned wider and pulled him through as well.

'Trust Emmett to just _dive_ straight into things without bothering to think about the consequences,' I grumbled. Seconds later we all piled into the hallway. I looked around in wonder. The place was lit by an ornate row of lamps hanging from the roof. The walls were lined with doors. And there, right in the middle, sat a beautiful three-legged glass table with a golden key, a pair of kid gloves and a fan.

'Hey, that wasn't there before!' Emmett pointed at the gloves and fan. 'Wonder who put them there?' He bent down and picked up the fan, examining it closely.

'Stop!' Valentine said suddenly. 'Drop that fan NOW!'

Emmett dropped it automatically, though he rounded on him in anger. 'What? Why?'

'Look!' Valentine pointed _up_ at the glass table. The table which, up until now, had only been waist high. For a moment I wondered how it could have possibly grown so much, then the awful truth hit me.

We'd shrunk.

A gloomy silence descended.

'The – the fan did that?' Emmett spluttered. Valentine nodded slowly.

'Well we can't go home like this!' Rosalie cried. 'Even a domestic housecat could kill us! We're the size of mice!'

'Maybe the table _did_ grow,' Alice suggested hopefully. 'Or if we went back we could return to our normal sizes.'

'No,' Valentine said. 'That's impossible –'

'How would you know?' Rosalie snapped.

Valentine opened his mouth to reply, then paused as the sound of pattering feet began to approach in the distance.

'A local?' Alice asked nervously. 'Do you think they'll be bigger than us?'

We were spared answering by the silhouette of a figure, evidently our current size, scurrying in our direction very distractedly. He seemed to be wearing some strange hair ornament that made him look like he had long rabbit ears. He stepped into the light, throwing his features into sharp relief, and I leapt backward in shock.

For the person was not really a human, but a large white rabbit _wearing a waistcoat_. He passed through our ranks without so much as looking at us; in fact, he showed no sign that he had seen us at all. As he bounded away, I distinctly heard him mutter, 'oh my paws and whiskers, where _could_ I have possibly left those fans? The Duchess will have my ears, oh yes…'

'Ah hem,' Edward said politely. 'We, er, found your fans –'

The white rabbit turned around abruptly and started as though he just noticed Edward. 'William!' he said sharply. 'Why are you here? Run home this instant and fetch me my gloves and fan!'

'My name is _not_ –'

'Now, now!' the rabbit cut across. 'Don't waste time! Quick, or the Queen will have our heads!' He pointed down the hall and scurried away, leaving Edward completely bewildered. I looked at the rest of my family. Every face was an identical mirror of shock and confusion.

'He mistook me for his servant,' Edward said in disgust.

'_Was_ that a rabbit?' Alice asked in a small voice. 'Or a person in a good costume…?' She looked at Valentine for help, but his face was smooth and unreadable. 'So, um,' Alice said to him. 'Do _you_ think that was a rabbit? I mean, animals don't talk, do they? Do you have talking animals back home?' she asked.

'Sure,' Valentine replied. I had no idea if he was being sarcastic or not.

'Then – then is this _your_ world?'

Cid and Valentine shook their heads.

'Hey look,' Emmett said, inclining his head at the ground. 'That furball dropped a bottle! Wow, it's a weird one too, look at the label!'

We inspected the bottle he held up. Tied around its neck was an elegant piece of paper labeled 'DRINK ME'.

'Dodgy,' Jasper commented. 'Sounds like poison.'

'Nah,' Emmett said in an offhand way. 'See, it's reverse psychology. They want you to drink it, so they put 'drink me'. But they know that once they put those words, you'll get suspicious and you won't drink it, and once you think like that, then you'll get curious and realize that it's harmless all along –'

'If the maker of that bottle wanted you to drink from it,' Edward interrupted, 'then it would be far more logical for them to label it alcohol or juice or whatever. What sort of idiot would label something 'drink me'?'

'I don't think it's safe,' Alice chipped in. 'Something's bound to happen if you drink it.'

'What can you see?' Jasper asked.

'Nothing,' she replied glumly. 'Everyone's future is so blurred. But I'm sure something bad'll happen if you drink it.'

'Aww,' Emmett grinned at Alice. 'I'm a vampire. Nothing's about to kill me. Besides, I'm sure you'll be keeping an eye out for my death, and it doesn't sound like anytime soon. I think I'll risk a little drink.'

'Emmett, no!' Rosalie cried out in horror as he unscrewed the top.

But Emmett merely laughed and tipped the entire contents of the little bottle down his throat.


	6. Easter Part II

_**Well, the Alice in Wonderland crossover was originally meant to be only two chapters, but it continued for so long that I'm going to stretch it into three chapters - I promise the next one will be the last! Yeah, this is a long chapter, sorry, I got a bit wordy, but I couldn't figure out any way to cut it down! **_

_**Told from Bella's POV. Thanks for reading!  
**_

'How does it feel?' Rosalie asked anxiously.

Before he could reply, he began to shrink.

'No!' he cried in dismay.

'I _told_ you not to drink it,' Alice said with a slight smirk, gazing down at Emmett who was now only ankle-high.

'What's going to happen to me now?'

'We should go after that rabbit,' Edward said, pointing down the hall. 'If he had a shrinking potion, he will definitely have a growing potion with him. Besides, it'll give me a chance to tell him I'm not William.'

'This isn't a joke!' Emmett said angrily, which was strange considering the fact that he was usually a happy-go-lucky vampire. But then again, if I shrank to the size of an ant I might not be too calm either.

'I'm not joking!' Edward. 'I'm just trying to say something logical –'

'There's no logic in this place!' Emmett exploded.

'I know,' Edward said, an edge of panic in his voice, 'but there's no use standing around! We need to get help.' He picked Emmett up carefully and placed him on Rosalie's shoulder. 'There. Now let's go.' He led the way down the dark hallway, and the rest of us followed in silence.

Presently, we came out and found ourselves standing in front of cute little house with a brass plate titled 'W. RABBIT'.

'Fancy that,' Alice said. 'Who'd have a last name of Rabbit?' She knocked on the door, but there was no reply.

'I think this house belongs _to_ the rabbit we saw earlier,' Edward said.

'Oh, great, so rabbits can now read and write as well as talk?' Alice asked skeptically.

'Yep.'

'At any rate,' Alice said. 'There's no one in there, so let's just go and visit someone else.' No one had a better suggestion, so we turned and walked away from the empty rabbit house.

'Bit creepy, this place,' Rosalie said as we entered a thick wood. From far away, I thought I heard a shrill voice scream, 'Serpent! Again! There's no pleasing them!' but no one in our group seemed to have noticed, so I put it out of my mind.

The wood thinned out gradually. In the distance, there was another house, and a person was sitting on the ground near the door, staring blankly at the sky.

'You reckon he's waiting for anyone?' Cid asked.

'Probably,' Edward replied. 'The house must be empty, or else why would he sit outside?' But as we approached it became very evident that there was _something_ in the house, for the most extraordinary crashing and banging (as though things were being thrown about) was coming from the inside.

'What are they _doing_ in there?' Jasper asked curiously. 'And what – what is _that_?' He pointed at the person sitting outside.

I squinted at the man, and stopped dead in my tracks, causing Alice to crash into my back.

'Watch it!' she grumbled. 'Next time you stop tell me first!'

'But – but,' I stuttered, staring at the man. Well, not really a man. He was actually a frog dressed in splendid livery. He had powdered hair that was curled all over his head, and like the rabbit, paid us no attention, even when Edward walked right past him to listen at the door.

'Do you wish to get in?' the frog asked after a while.

'Is he supposed to be a footman?' Rosalie whispered.

'Erm,' Edward said uncertainly. 'Well, are there people inside?' He knocked lightly on the door.

'Oh, there's no use knocking,' the frog said. 'I'm on the same side of the door as you are.'

'But I don't want _you_ to open the door for me,' Edward protested. 'I want to go _in_, so I want the people _inside_ to open the door for me.'

'There's no use knocking,' the frog repeated. 'They're making so much noise inside, they can't possibly hear you.'

'So should I try knocking louder?'

'There's no use knocking,' the frog said again. 'I shall sit here, today and tomorrow.'

'How do I get in?' Edward asked loudly and impatiently.

'_Are_ you to get in?' the frog replied. 'That's the first question.'

'What question?'

The frog (or footman) said nothing and began to whistle cheerfully, reminding me very much of Valentine's irritating habit of avoiding questions, only that the frog seemed much more happy.

'Come on,' Valentine said, walking past me. 'If you want to get inside there's no use talking to him.'

'How dreadfully rude!' Alice exclaimed, sensing his intention. 'You can't just barge into someone's house uninvited!'

Valentine said nothing and pushed the door open, then ducked swiftly as a kettle flew out the door, missing his head and bouncing hard between the frog's eyes. The frog went on whistling as though nothing had happened.

'I told you we weren't welcome,' Alice mumbled then followed him into the gloom of the house.

My first thought as I entered the house was that there was a lot of pepper in the air. Glancing around, I saw that we were in a kitchen, and the source of pepper was the cook who was spraying copious amounts into a large cauldron. In the middle of the room sat an ugly and oddly proportioned but lavishly dressed woman. She was nursing a piglet which was grunting and sneezing shrilly. A large cat sat on the hearth, grinning from ear to ear.

'A cat that grins!' Emmett said, peeking through a curtain of Rosalie's hair. 'Even curioser than talking animals.'

'It's a Cheshire Cat,' the ugly woman called out, not at all disturbed that eight strangers had just walked into her house. 'You're not very smart.'

'I've never heard of such a thing,' Emmett admitted.

'Then you're really quite a dim boy,' the woman replied. 'All cats can grin.'

'Sure,' Rosalie said sarcastically. 'Back in _my_ world, no cat can grin.' She gestured at Valentine. 'And in _his_ world they don't have grinning cats either.'

'We do,' Valentine said unexpectedly.

'_What?_' Rosalie burst out.

'Yeah, we've got a grinning cat too,' Cid added. 'Of course, he wears a little crown over his head and he doesn't quite show all his teeth when he grins.'

'There,' the woman said triumphantly.

I had a strong suspicion that Cid and Valentine were lying, but there was really no point in arguing with them. Rosalie must have thought so too, for she said nothing and began to study the Cheshire Cat in great detail.

'I'm off to ready myself for croquet,' the woman said, standing up suddenly and flinging the piglet into Valentine's arms, 'see you there if you've been invited!'

The moment she stood up, the cook took the cauldron off the fire and began to throw all her kitchen utensils at the woman, and when she disappeared out the door the cook turned her homemade weapons onto us. Valentine, who was struggling to hold on to the thrashing piglet, was the first to be hit.

'Ouch!' he shouted as the piglet managed to kick him in the chest at the same time. 'I'm leaving.' He strode out the door; the Cheshire Cat suddenly vanished upon hearing this statement.

'This place is mad,' Edward muttered and grabbed my hand. 'Let's go.' Together, the rest of us went outside. In the open air, we saw the curly tail of the piglet disappearing into the bush, and Valentine engaged in conversation with the Cheshire Cat.

'- oh yes,' the Cat was saying, 'the pig used to be a baby, you know, but he was so very piglike that he turned into one.' He grinned widely at us; it was quite frightening to see all his pointy teeth.

'Could you tell us where to go?' Alice asked politely.

'That depends on your destination,' the Cat replied.

'Well, anywhere _sane_,' Alice explained, 'a lot of people here are mad, and I so don't like talking to them!'

The Cat grinned broadly at her, 'if you don't want to be amongst mad people, I'm afraid there'll be nowhere for you to go. Everyone's mad here.'

'_Everyone?'_

'That's correct,' he said happily. 'We're all mad. You're mad too, and so am I.'

Alice looked rather taken aback. 'Oh, um,' she said hesitatingly, and I could tell that she didn't fancy reasoning with the Cat. 'In that case, can you tell us how to get grow bigger?'

'I haven't the slightest idea,' the Cat replied. 'Are you going to play croquet with the Queen?'

'No.'

'Well, if you do get invited I shall see you there.' The Cat vanished, leaving his grin behind.

'That was helpful,' Edward said. 'Although I have to say, it's quite funny to talk to these people. And animals,' he added. 'Shall we see if we can find any more locals?'

'Do you actually know where you're going?' Cid demanded. 'We've done nothing but walk since coming here, it's really quite dull.'

'I don't mind,' Alice said.

'I don't either,' I chipped in.

'Nor I,' Emmett added. Rosalie and Jasper shrugged. We looked at Valentine, who said nothing.

'I'll take that as a yes,' Edward said, and strode away without looking back.

Alice cast an apologetic glance at Cid. 'Come one. It's not like we have anything else to do.' Muttering darkly about arrogant vampires, Cid reluctantly joined us, followed by Valentine.

We hadn't walked very far when we came upon a huge house that looked as though it was built by a lunatic. The chimneys were shaped like ears and the roof was thatched with fur. In front of the house stood a large tree, under which a spacious table was laid for a tea party. Three people were crowded together at one end; the person in the middle appeared to be fast asleep and the two companions on either side rested their elbows on him. _Weird_, I thought to myself. _Wouldn't you notice if people used you as an elbow rest?_

'Oooh look,' Alice said excitedly. 'There's another rabbit! Maybe he'll have a growing potion.'

'That's not a rabbit,' Rosalie corrected. 'It's a hare. You can tell by the shape of the ears.'

The sleeping figure, now that I had looked closely, was in fact a dormouse. On his other side was a human wearing a large top hat with the words 'In this Style'. As we approached them, the hare and the man clutched the dormouse and cried out, 'no room! No room!'

'Are you expecting more people?' Edward asked, gazing round at the extremely roomy table.

'Do have a seat,' the hare encouraged, as though he had forgotten there was no room around the table.

'Your hair wants cutting,' the man said to Valentine as he sat down next to him.

'I like it the way it is thanks,' Valentine replied coldly. I stared at him in surprise. Valentine was generally indifferent to insulting personal remarks.

'Then you need a new hat,' the man advised.

'I don't wear hats.'

'Sure you do!' the man said indignantly and reached over to tug at the red bandage wrapped around Valentine's head.

'That's not a hat!' Valentine said hotly. 'And I don't want one anyway.'

'I'm a hatter,' the man replied. 'So you should listen to my advice.'

'Supposing we change the subject,' Alice said hastily over their growing voices.

'Yes, yes, do!' the hatter gushed enthusiastically. 'Let's have a story! I vote the Gold Gloved Man tell us one!'

'Who?' Valentine asked. Rosalie sniggered.

'Why, you of course!' the hatter said, looking as though this couldn't be more obvious. I privately wondered how Valentine would respond to being called 'the Gold Gloved Man.' It seemed that the hatter knew just the right way to annoy him, for Rosalie never had much success. Then –

'That's not a glove,' Valentine informed, indicating his armour. 'That's a gauntlet. Besides, I don't know any stories.'

'Then the Dormouse shall!' the hare cried, and poured hot tea over the poor creature's head. 'Come on, wake up, and tell us a story!'

'And hurry too,' the hatter added. 'Or you'll fall asleep.'

'Once,' the Dormouse said sleepily. 'There were three sisters. Their names were Rosie, Lacie and Ella…' Here he trailed off and began to snore, but the hatter pinched him awake.

'I wasn't asleep!' he said quickly. 'The three sisters lived together –'

'Where did they live?' Rosalie asked eagerly.

The Dormouse considered this for a long moment. 'In a well,' he said finally.

'But how can you live in a well?' Cid broke in.

Again, the Dormouse took an age to reply. 'It was a treacle well –'

'But how would the well being made out of treacle affect the way they live?'

'It was a treacle well,' the Dormouse said sulkily. 'That's just the way it is.'

'There's no such thing!' Cid said angrily. 'Treacle wells don't exist!'

'Yes they do!'

'No they don't!'

'If you're so smart, then you'd better finish the story yourself,' the Dormouse snapped.

Cid glared at the Dormouse and fell silent.

'In the treacle well,' the Dormouse continued, sounding drowsy again. 'They learnt to draw. First, they drew all sorts of things starting with M. Once they finished, they turned upside down and drew all sorts of things starting with W.'

'But why?' Alice asked.

'Why not?' the Dormouse replied. 'So, they began to learn to draw things beginning with W. For instance, they drew worms, and wisdom, and west, and wordiness –'

'You can't draw half those things,' Cid interrupted.

'Yes you can,' the Dormouse replied. 'When someone says "his wordiness turned my wisdom west" then –'

'That sentence makes no sense,' Cid retorted.

'Shut up,' the hatter said. Cid gave a growl of anger and rose up from his chair, only to be pushed back down by Valentine. At that precise moment, another footman came walking up to our table. This creature was a fish, dressed identically to the frog, and he produced a giant letter (almost as large as himself) from under his arm and presented it with a low bow to Valentine.

'To the Gold Gloved Man and Friends,' he said. 'An invitation from the Queen to play croquet.' When he straightened up, his powdered curls got snagged in the buckles on Valentine's outstretched arm, and the two of them pulled and tugged in an effort to untangle themselves.

At this, Cid, who had been rather red-faced with anger, burst out laughing; he laughed so hard that he began to choke on his tea. Valentine threw him a dirty look.

'Do we count as Vincent's friends?' Alice snorted, watching the fish footman scuttle away with comical dignity and Valentine delicately plucking out stray strands of powdered hair from the buckles on his arm. 'I want to play croquet.'

'I guess so,' I replied. 'I wonder if the Queen is mad.'


	7. Easter Part III

_**I actually finished this last week, but decided to save it for today, seeing as it's actually Easter Saturday/Sunday (depending on the country you live in). Thought it'd be cool to - hope my sense of humour isn't too lame :D.**_

**_Sorry about the rushed and sloppy ending, The Vampire Diaries was on TV while I was writing this (yeah, I'm sure obsessed with vampires), so I got trememdously distracted. I had a huge problem not including Damon into the story - I love that guy!_**

**_Told from Bella's POV. Thanks for reading and the reviews!_**

**_***_**

'Have you been invited too?' Valentine asked, attempting to open the giant letter without breaking any teacups.

'I? No,' the hatter said mournfully. 'It's always tea-time, I can't –'

The white rabbit that had misnamed Edward as William scurried up to our table.

'What! Still here!' he said sharply. 'Come on, quick, or we'll be late! And I'll thank you,' he added irritably to the hatter, 'not to keep them in for tea so long next time!'

'It's _always_ tea time,' the hatter replied gloomily. 'I can't help it.'

'Well, _they've_ got to go, at any rate,' the rabbit said, indicating us. 'Hurry, we can't dawdle about all day!'

'Sure, sure,' Cid replied, only too happy to leave the mad tea party. Without another word the rabbit turned and bounded away. We all stood up; I shot back a quick glance as I left the table to see if the three companions were coming, but they had resumed their tea.

The white rabbit led us to a beautiful garden planted with red roses. However, some of the roses were splotched with white and red, as though someone had tried to paint them. Whether this was the case or not I never found out, for the sound of footsteps soon approached.

'The Queen! The Queen!' the rabbit mumbled fearfully, and scurried away to form a procession that came marching our way. Alice cried out in surprise, for she had spotted the members of the procession: walking cards.

Ten cards carrying clubs came along, and judging by the way they swung their clubs, I guessed them to be soldiers. Next came the courtiers adorned in diamonds, then the gardeners, shuffling their spades nervously, followed closely by ten happy little hearts skipping together in couples.

Guests came after the forty cards; the other queens and kings of clubs, diamonds and spades. The white rabbit was among them, bounding along and nodding at everything that was said to him. A small gap separated the last of the guests from the Knave of Hearts who carried a crown on a velvet cushion, and last of all, the King and Queen of Hearts appeared.

The King looked quite timid, but his wife, on the other hand, looked savage and ill-tempered, as though someone had committed her a great wrong. I was wondering what the great wrong was when the process stopped in front of us. I straightened up automatically and tried to look respectful, though all the time I reminded myself that they were only made out of cardboard, and therefore unlikely to hurt us.

'You're late,' the Queen said to Valentine crossly.

'Oh. Sorry about that,' he replied.

'What kept you?'

'Er –'

'I see,' she interrupted coolly, though how she could possibly see when Valentine hadn't given her a reason was quite beyond me. 'Off with his head!' she shrieked and marched off. Three soldiers came forward, brandishing their clubs menacingly while everyone else moved away.

Valentine's eyes flashed dangerously, and his gloved hand drifted slowly towards his gun. The soldiers stopped, hesitating, and the King stepped forward. He cast a nervous glance at the retreating back of his wife, then said to Valentine in a low voice, 'you're pardoned.' The soldiers moved away instantly.

'Is his head off?' the Queen shouted when she spotted the soldiers.

'Yes, your Majesty!' they lied in unison.

'Excellent!' she shouted, then looked at Valentine (whose head was obviously still sitting on his shoulders). 'Can you play croquet?'

Edward and I glanced at each other in confusion. Evidently, the question was meant for Valentine, but hadn't she just acknowledged his death?

'No,' he replied, looking just as puzzled as us.

'Then learn!' she roared and thrust a live flamingo into his arms.

'To your places!' the Queen shouted, and the soldiers began to dish out flamingos to everyone. I took mine and looked at the Queen for further directions – what was the use of a flamingo in croquet?

I saw the Queen hold her flamingo upside-down by the legs, and it was only then that I realised the birds were intended as mallets. _Poor things_, I thought.

There weren't any balls on the ground, nor were there any arches.

'How are we supposed to play when there aren't any balls?' I whispered to Edward, keeping a careful eye on the Queen.

'The hedgehogs,' he murmured.

It was probably the dumbest game I had ever played. The hedgehogs were the balls, but they kept unrolling. Though there were plenty of flamingos, there weren't enough hedgehogs, and soon players began to fight over them. The soldiers were supposed to be arches, but they were so weak that they couldn't form an arch long enough for a hedgehog to pass through. It never occurred to anyone to take turns, nor to use a more stable form of archway.

All of this put the Queen of Hearts into a passionate fury. She argued with the guests who were so lost in the game that they forgot to be careful and argued back, and the conflict was only resolved by her shouting, 'off with his head!' or 'off with her head!' By the end ten minutes there was a huge line of prisoners.

'Hello, my dear!' The ugly woman who had nursed the pig appeared in our midst. She tucked her arm affectionately into Valentine's, who looked uncomfortable and tried to pull away, but to no avail. She then attempted to rest her chin on his shoulder, but seeing as he was marginally taller than her she achieved nothing more than bumping her chin into his elbow. She gave up, and her gaze settled on Alice.

'And who might you be?' she beamed, letting go of Valentine and swooping onto Alice instead. Since Alice was around the same height as her, the woman succeeded in restign her chin on her shoulder.

'Umm, Alice.'

'Alice!' the woman nearly cried in happiness. 'Why, your face has changed quite a lot!'

'My…face?' Alice asked blankly.

'Why, yes, and your hair shorter too! Did you take the Mad Hatter's advice?'

'The Hatter told _him_ to cut _his_ hair.' Alice pointed at Valentine.

'Two of a kind! Two of a kind!' the woman said, and dug her chin into Alice's shoulder. 'And the moral of that is, "when there's two of one, then both will profit".'

'Moral?' Rosalie repeated scornfully. 'There isn't a moral in that!'

'Of course there is, child!' the woman said indignantly. 'The moral of that is…ah, greetings, Your Majesty.' Her voice quavered with fright. The Queen stood in front of us with a wrathful expression on her face.

'Leave now!' the Queen roared. 'Or your head will be off!'

The woman scurried away. Breathing like a wounded rhinoceros, the Queen turned to us. 'There's hardly anyone left,' she commented.

'Couldn't put it any truer,' Edward muttered, for during the time the woman had been talking to us the Queen had put everyone except herself, the King, and us, under execution. Even the executioner had been sentenced to death.

'What did you say?' she snapped.

'Your beauty is incomparable to all the roses in the world,' Edward lied smoothly. She smiled at him.

'Have you seen the Mock Turtle?'

'No.'

'Well then, you'd better pay him a visit.' She led us away from the people in custody, and as we left, the King of Hearts said quietly to all the unfortunate prisoners, 'you are all pardoned.' If the Queen heard, she gave no sign.

'Wow, a gryphon,' Alice gasped as we came across a half-eagle, half-lion drowsing in the sun.

'Up, lazybones!' The Queen kicked it awake. 'And take these people to hear the Mock Turtle's story. I'm off to oversee some executions.' She stomped off and the gryphon sat up.

'Hjckrrh!' It coughed and rubbed its eyes. 'Alright, come on then!' It bounded away and we hurried to catch up.

In the distance, a lone figure stood outlined against the rocks, looking so forlorn that I felt sorry for him. The creature (which I assumed to be a Mock Turtle) was a curious turtle animal that had a pig-like face. He looked at us with red, puffy eyes, then buried his face in his flippers and began to weep.

'What a depressing fellow,' Cid said to Alice in an audible whisper. 'He's as melodramatic as Vincent.'

'I heard that,' Valentine said. Cid grinned at him.

The gryphon stopped in front of the Mock Turtle. 'These people would like to hear your story.'

In response, the Turtle climbed down from his rock and looked at us with heartbroken eyes.

'Sit down then,' he said finally. 'And don't interrupt.'

We all sat down and waited patiently for him to begin, but he never did. Eventually, Cid began to stand up, but was stopped when the Mock Turtle said surprisingly, 'I used to be a real turtle.'

Perhaps he meant it as a revelation, but no one seemed impressed at this. Sounding annoyed at the lack of attention, the Turtle continued, 'we went to school in the sea –'

'What did you learn?' Alice asked.

'All the regular subjects,' the Turtle sobbed. 'And some extras. French, music and washing –'

'But what would you need to wash for!' Cid exclaimed. 'You were _in_ the sea, were you not? There'd be no point in washing, everything'd be wet already!'

'I never took it,' the Turtle sighed, 'so I don't know what it's like.'

'What else was there?' I asked before the Turtle could start crying again.

'Well, there was Drawling. I understand that you younglings don't learn it at school anymore, but back in my days we…' he broke off and began to cry again. I looked around desperately for a tissue, but the Turtle had already bent down. He picked up one corner of Valentine's ragged cape with both flippers, mopped his eyes, then blew his nose noisily into it.

'Oi!' Valentine snarled and snatched his cape out of the Turtle's flippers.

'What?' the Turtle said, looking surprised.

'Do you _mind?_' he snapped, sounding most unlike his usual calm self. 'I wear that, you know.'

'You _wear_ it?' the Turtle repeated disbelievingly. 'I thought that was just some scrap fabric!'

'You ought to be ashamed of yourself,' the gryphon told Valentine, 'wearing rags like that out in public. Anyone would think you were poor or something. You're not, are you?'

'Of course not!' Valentine said indignantly.

'The trial's beginning!' someone cried in the distance.

'Come!' said the gryphon, leaping up at once and bounding away without saying goodbye to the Turtle. 'Come away, old fellows!'

Valentine almost tripped over his pointy boots in his haste to get away.

'Whose trial is it?' Alice asked as we left the Mock Turtle behind.

'Oh, I don't know,' the Gryphon replied. 'They change the accused every year.'

'Hang on,' Emmett said. 'We can't just go carting about this place. We need to grow and get back home.'

'You're not coming?' The gryphon looked disappointed.

'No,' Emmett replied. 'We're not from here. Do you know how to grow?'

'Sure,' the gryphon answered. 'Go to the hallway and eat some cake.'

This answer was hardly encouraging.

'What cake?' Emmett asked.

'Under the glass table in the room.' The gryphon pointed at the base of a tree we hadn't noticed before. 'I have to go now. Goodbye!' He bounded away.

'Look!' Rosalie exclaimed, bending down slightly. 'There's a door in the tree trunk!'

Emmett jumped down from her shoulder and attempted to wrest the door open; but he was so small that it was hardly effectual. Edward brushed him aside and pushed the door open.

'Yep,' he confirmed. 'It's that hallway. I can see the glass table. You can go through if you bend down a bit.'

Emmett was the first to bolt through the door. 'I can see the cake!' he called out excitedly. 'I'll just take a bite and see –'

'Emmett, no!' Rosalie shouted 'What if –'

'It works, it works!' he cried out in delight. 'I'm growing!'

I craned my neck to see past Edward. Emmett _was_ rapidly growing; soon he shot past us…past the glass table…and stopped. At his usual height. Rosalie crouched low and pulled herself through the doorway. She cautiously nibbled one end of the cake Emmett passed her, then she, too, grew.

Five minutes later we were all crowded in the hallway, restored to our usual heights. Valentine, holding his snotty cape as far away from his body as possible, managed to locate the portal. There was the familiar rush of sound and swirling greenness, then we found ourselves back home in the basement.

'Whew,' Alice sighed contentedly. 'Home sweet home. I'm going back there next Easter.'

**_***_**

**_That ends the Alice in Wonderland crossover. The story's going to resume being a bit more serious too, so I hope you guys won't mind too much. Thanks again!_**


	8. Visiting Zafrina

_**Wow, it's been like 5 weeks since my last update o.O ****Anyway, seriously short chapter, nothing much happens. No humour, no action. Be warned, it's probably the most boring one so far, but the next one will be action packed (I hope :D)**_

_**Thank you to everyone who's been giving me reviews, I REALLY appreciate it. Sorry that I haven't been able to reply to them - I don't know how, and the 'reply' button basically sends emails, which I'm generally not in the habit of doing. And in response to a comment made in the last chapter as to what Sephy was doing when Cid saw him during their teleportation...er, nothing. That line was actually there just to take up place and show how 'uncaring' Vincent is, I didn't really think anyone would pick up on it.**_

_**Told from Bella's POV. Thanks for reading!**_

'She _will_ be pleased to see us, right?' I asked Alice anxiously.

'Yes, yes,' she replied impatiently. 'Bella, you worry too much. If it weren't for the fact that you're immortal I'd say you'd die of premature stress.'

'Thanks a lot,' I said dryly.

'But seriously, Zafrina _asked_ us to bring Nessie to her; she wouldn't suddenly change her mind short of some catastrophe!'

'Are we all ready to go?' Rosalie asked.

'Hell yeah!' Emmett boomed. 'I can't wait to see some boa constrictors. I wonder what they taste like…'

Nessie pressed her hand to my arm.

'What does she want?' Rosalie asked.

'When we're leaving,' I answered for her.

'Uh, like, now,' Emmett said, tapping his foot with impatience.

'Yeah, let's go,' Edward agreed.

'I still think catching a plane to South America would be faster than getting there by foot,' I grumbled after half an hour of running through the forest.

'Probably,' Emmett said. 'But it's more exciting this way.'

'How's it exciting? We cover this place every time we hunt.'

'Where are Vincent and Cid?' Nessie asked aloud unexpectedly from the back of Jacob.

'Er…' I faltered slightly in my stride and looked at Edward for help. He looked equally helpless.

'Nowhere near _us_, thank goodness,' Rosalie added. 'I just hope they don't do anything to the house while we're away.'

'Relax,' Emmett said. 'It's not like they're living in it. Remember last time, they disappeared for like a few months? It's not like we'll be staying with Zafrina for a year, we're only visiting. We'll be home before they pop up again, eh, Alice?'

Lush green trees replaced the tall pines of our homeland as we crossed the continent late the next day. Giant ferns and vines showered us with droplets of water as we brushed past. It was amazing that so far away from home, Jacob could still stay linked with his pack.

Carlisle warned us that there were still a few natives left in the rainforests. Apparently, most of them were fully aware of the existence of vampires. But those were not our main concern. Jasper had become quite edgy since passing through the hunting grounds of Maria – the vampire who turned him. Despite our assurances that she was unlikely to track us and cause us harm, Jasper's tension washed over us like smoke.

We were still debating over the dangers when everyone stopped dead in their tracks and cried out in alarm. Everyone except for me.

'Edward!' I shouted. 'What's the matter?'

'I can't see!'

'Can't _see_?' I repeated, mystified. I flitted over to Nessie (the only person in our group who didn't look unnerved) and held her hands. Immediately, the rainforest around me disappeared and I was standing in the vortex of space.

'Zafrina!' Nessie squealed in delight.

'Welcome, young ones,' Zafrina's rough voice boomed all around us, but I couldn't see her. Jacob's ears flattened automatically in caution.

'Some of us aren't _that_ young,' Carlisle responded.

Laughter followed, then the three Amazon sisters appeared amongst us. They looked so suited to the rainforest with their animal skins that I felt quite out of place in my simple T-shirt and jeans.

'Where is my Nessie?' Zafrina asked.

'Here!' chirped my daughter and she ran into the Amazon's arms. Zafrina picked her up and swung her in a wide circle, then put her down again.

'Are you thirsty?'

'Hell yes!' Emmett said enthusiastically. 'What do you have?'

'Well, there is a tribe of…oh, forgive me. I forgot that you do not drink human blood –'

Jacob made a strange sound in his throat that sounded like disgust. I prayed that the wild Amazons wouldn't be offended.

'– in that case,' Zafrina continued as though she hadn't heard, 'there's quite an abundance of wildlife here.'

'Thank you,' Carlisle said graciously. The three Amazons smiled at him in response.

The experience of living in a rainforest was so strange compared to my normal lifestyle. There was no house to live in, and we were free to roam around. It was so uncivilized, but also in a nice way. The Amazons were mostly drawn to Nessie, who spent much of her time telling them about Cid and Valentine, augmented by Alice. All three were fascinated by Valentine's red eyes and shape-shifting ability, putting forward some strange theories on his exact identity, none of which seemed possible.

Jacob, on the other hand, was anything but fascinated. He had only bothered to come on this trip to guard Nessie, and now that she seemed to be safe there was nothing for him to do. I tried talking to him, but he refused to leave his wolf form since he needed to stay linked to his pack. Edward offered to translate for us, but Jacob was my best friend; there were some things that I didn't want to share with anyone but him.

Two weeks after our arrival at the rainforest, Jacob snapped out of his broodiness and howled loudly. Birds fled within miles and we all looked at him in alarm. All except Edward, who read into his mind and sprang forward.

'What? What is it?'

'Vincent and Cid – they've set the town on fire!' Edward choked out.

'What!' Carlisle exclaimed. 'Are you sure? How do you know?'

'Quil and Embry saw them,' Edward said while Jacob growled and began to pace restlessly.

'Ugh,' Alice hissed with frustration. 'I can't see anything with all the werewolves and those two blotting out everything.'

'I knew they were up to no good,' Rosalie snarled.

'Zafrina, I'm sorry,' Carlisle said. 'But we have to go. Thank you for having us.'

'Do you need help?' the Amazon offered.

Carlisle shook his head. 'No, but thank you. I could never forgive myself if you were hurt because of us.'

We hardly spoke on the way home. Edward told us (through Jacob) that the 'setting the town on fire' was actually an exaggeration. Only three houses had been destroyed, and all those were empty anyway. Thankfully, no humans had been killed, but Sam's pack had lost track of the two.

'I don't get it,' Alice said. 'Vincent's got that nifty gun. If he wanted to kill everyone wouldn't it be easier to shoot people rather than set their houses on fire?'

'Maybe he ran out of ammo,' Emmett suggested. 'It's a pretty unique gun, the refills could be hard to get.'

'Yeah. Maybe.' But it was a pretty lame reason which no one believed.

We covered the rest of the way in silence, not stopping to hunt. Traveling at our fastest, it took us just a little over a day to arrive back at Forks. I smelt the smoke long before I saw it. The scent was different. It wasn't from a normal fire, but the scent was one I vaguely remembered. I was quite sure it had something to do with the Volturi, but Jacob assured us that vampires played no part in the fire.

Thuds sounded our way, then suddenly, to our right, Quil burst into view, swishing his tail anxiously. A few minutes later we arrived back at our house. All the wolves of La Push were waiting for us in their human forms.

'Sam?' Carlisle said when he saw Sam walking toward us. 'What happened? Why did they suddenly set fire to some of the houses?'

'I don't know,' he replied. 'Jared was out on one of his patrols –'

'Oh _there_ you are.'

We spun around and saw Cid and Valentine emerge from the trees. I expected them to be cautious and wary, but the two seemed confident, even smug. It was as though they had done us some great favour.

Edward nodded silently to Jasper, and in a flash both of them lunged. Jasper had Cid by his throat, and Edward had Valentine's.

'Get off me,' Valentine growled and reached for his gun, but Emmett darted forward and pined his arms.

'Yeah,' Cid huffed, 'some thanks for saving your town.'

'Oh yes,' Rosalie said coldly. 'I'm sure that setting fire to Forks is some great way to save it.'

'We didn't set fire to it you retards!' Cid yelled indignantly. '_Your_ lot tried to set _us_ on fire!'

'_Our_ lot?' Jasper asked, keeping his hold on Cid.

Cid fixed his eyes on Jasper's. 'Vampires. They're here. And they're trying to kill us.'

'But how?'

Valentine laughed humourlessly. 'They _tried_ to tear us to pieces and set us on fire.'

'Aye,' Cid agreed and smiled dangerously. 'But we got them in the end.'

And suddenly I remembered why the scent of the smoke was familiar. It was exactly the same as the smoke of Irina's destruction at the hands of the Volturi.

Cid and Valentine weren't trying to kill humans. They had been aiming for vampires.


	9. Newborns

_**Told from Bella's POV. Thanks for reading!**_

'And _why _were you trying to kill our kind?' I demanded.

'Easy!' Cid retorted, 'They tried to kill us. Now can you please let me go?'

Jasper dropped him, though I suspected it was more in surprise than compliance. Across, Edward released Valentine.

'_Thank _you,' Cid said sarcastically and dramatically massaged his throat.

'I find it hard to believe that anyone would want to kill you,' Emmett said.

'I don't,' Rosalie muttered.

Valentine shrugged at the ominous death threat. 'They said something about getting revenge because I killed someone's mate a while ago, and that some lady's planning a full scale attack on this place.'

From my right, Alice gave a horrified gasp. Edward tensed in response to her thoughts.

'That vampire,' she moaned. 'I _knew_ it. I've been seeing it for all those months, but it was so blurry I wasn't sure.'

'_What_ vampire?' Emmett asked.

'The one that Vincent killed, all the way back in February –'

'But he's dead,' Emmett argued. 'How the hell can he cause all that trouble?'

'He had a mate.' Alice's shoulders sagged a little. 'And she wants revenge…'

'Oh man,' I groaned. 'I thought Victoria was the last of our troubles. What is it with all these people wanting revenge?'

'Who's Victoria?' Cid asked.

No one paid him any attention.

'So she's creating newborns?' Rosalie asked. Edward noted mutely.

'That doesn't make sense,' Esme broke in. 'How's she controlling everyone? Remember when Victoria created that army, a lot of humans were killed in Seattle? Surely, if there's going to be a full scale attack on Forks, there'd be some news about humans dying. It's impossible to keep a crowd of newborns under control.'

'No,' Jasper countered. 'It isn't. Difficult, but not impossible. If you select carefully, and you have someone supporting you with certain abilities, it's possible to keep newborns from human notice.' He smiled wryly. 'It's what Maria used me for in my early years.'

Cid thumped his spear on the ground impatiently. 'What's going on? Who's Victoria and Maria?'

'Put that stick away,' Rosalie ordered coldly.

'It ain't a stick, missy. And I'm not putting it away until you tell us what's happening and who attacked us.'

'You are in no position to bargain with us,' Rosalie replied scornfully.

'I'm not trying to bar –'

'There's going to be another vampire invasion?' Sam interrupted. Around him, the Quilettes' eyes brightened in excitement.

'It's not _our_ fault,' Edward snapped. 'We're not the reason for this attack. Vincent's the one who drew the newborns here. And he cannot be held entirely responsible either, because if you remember, that was vampire was killing innocent lives, and had to be stopped.'

'It was just a stray thought,' Sam replied, looking annoyed.

'No one is to blame here,' Carlisle said quickly.

'What should we do?' I asked, though I already knew the answer.

'Easy,' Emmett said, smiling in an offhand way. 'We fight them.'

{}{}{}

'Are you sure it's tomorrow?' I asked Alice. She nodded and rolled her eyes.

'Bella, my vision may be blurry with the wolves and those two around, but ever since Vincent killed the little minions of that vampire, the future's clear as a bell. Well, at least, the future of the attack date's clear. Now you just worry about shielding everyone.'

'Will it be alright?' I couldn't help but ask.

'Hmm, let's see,' Alice said patiently, with the expression of someone teaching a little kid the alphabet, 'we've got Sam's pack, Jacob's pack, eight highly capable vampires and two lost souls from some unknown bogan country. It's more than enough to take on a newborn army. Heck, half of us could sit out and nothing would happen.'

'I'm glad we only got back yesterday,' I said.

'Why?'

'I'd hate to sit around for a week or so waiting to be attacked. This way, it'll be over quickly.'

{}{}{}

The familiar sense of déjà vu rushed to me as we spread out in the forest the next day. I remembered Victoria's failed attack on us, and my helplessness as a human at the time. Today, though, I was no longer a useless human.

'Remember,' Jasper reminded quietly, as though afraid to break the eerie silence of the forest. 'Unlike last time, they know about the werewolves, so we don't have surprise on our side. But the newborns will go for Valentine. Their narrow vision will allow us to pick them off one by one easily, as long as we keep them off balance.'

'Yeah, sorry buddy,' Emmett said, patting Valentine in a brotherly sort of way. 'You've got a big target on your forehead today. Not that it's visible, of course,' he added, glancing at the scarlet bandana on Valentine's head.

'Ha!' Cid muttered. 'Serves you right for having a pretty face.'

From somewhere out of sight, one of the wolves – Embry, it sounded like – gave a short bark of warning. Cid shot a reproachful look at the direction of the sound and twirled his spear briefly.

'When are they coming?' I asked Alice.

'Soon, I think. In like five minutes.'

The five minutes felt like an eternity. I was first alerted of the strangers' arrival by the presence of a thick white mist. It floated all around us, until I could barely see a few feet out in front of me.

'Are you alright?' I looked at Edward in panic. 'Is it Alec?'

'Yes, I'm fine, and no,' Edward replied. 'It's not the Volturi. And this mist isn't like Alec's. It doesn't smother anyone. More like it's just there to block people from being seen. I think – woah!' He leapt forward and pushed me to the ground as something whooshed past overhead.

'Look out!' Jasper yelled somewhere in the mist.

Edward snarled and launched himself off me. There was the sound out two boulders smashing together, and in that horrid moment I realised the purpose of the mist: to block out the sight of the invaders.

We were now blind.

Edward and Alice fared the best; their respective abilities allowed them to pinpoint the locations of their attackers. The rest of us were nowhere near as lucky. I tried to throw my shield out to drive back the mist, but it was physical, not psychological, and my shield passed through it harmlessly.

'Jasper!' I heard Edward yell. 'Cover me! I know the one who's making the mist, once I take care of her we'll be able to see properly!'

'Edward, wait!' I screamed, but there was no reply. He was gone.

It was complete, utter, chaos. Someone grabbed me by the neck and I felt a searing pain along my arm as they tried to rip it off. Out of nowhere they were wrenched away from me, and in their place I saw the bladed tip of a spear.

'Thanks!' I managed to gasp. 'I owe you one!'

Cid winked. 'I wouldn't wanna be you!' he shouted into the mist and jumped high into the air. The mist obscured his figure, but I heard him coming down and swiping his spear through the air. A massive explosion ensued, clearing the mist temporarily for me to see that there was a circle of burnt shrubs and cinder around him.

My amazement was short lived, however. The vampire that had attacked me came back and pinned me to the ground. I struggled to throw him off, but he was too strong for me. The mist was sliding back again, but before everything was blocked I saw that we were rapidly losing. Edward and Jasper were gone; I could only hope that they were still alive trying to take out the vampire creating the mist. I couldn't see anyone else from my family, but no fires were lit, so I knew they hadn't been totally destroyed. White fragments crawled on the ground; I turned my eyes away from them for I knew what they really were, while I saw many wolves lying motionless on the ground. A lump formed in my throat and I looked away.

Cid was backed between two trees by two vampires. I tried to help him, but in the moment I took a step forward the mist closed again and I was completely blinded. _Oh, please don't hurt Charlie and Nessie_, I thought pleadingly.

Through a break in the mist, I saw Valentine outnumbered three to one. He was making wild movements with one arm, and a strange fire-like substance began flowing out. It seemed to slightly pain the three vampires, but also cleared away the mist. I rushed in to attack; grabbing one of them by the shoulder, I braced my hand against him and ripped.

The vampire gave a scream of pain as his arm was torn off. His two friends surrounded me and dragged me off him. I kicked out, but one of them managed to yank my arms behind my back while the other bared his teeth in preparation to tear me apart. I shut my eyes in dread.

Then suddenly, both were pulled away. I opened my eyes and saw Valentine standing over me defensively. The two vampires were thrown almost forty feet away.

'Thanks,' I panted as I climbed to my feet. 'Why don't you do your demon thing? It'll finish them off quicker.'

'What demon thing?' Valentine replied, keeping his eyes on the two stunned vampires.

'You know, uh,' I flapped my arms at a weak imitation of wings, 'that flying thing you turned into last February.'

'Oh, you mean Chaos? I don't like him taking control. I thought materia would be easier.'

'What materials?' There was no reply as he leapt away to fight. I sighed, used to this by now.

The vampire I attacked lurched about, groping on the ground for his arm. He seemed too distracted to pay any attention to me, and quick as lightning I struck him down. His cry of alarm was never finished as I whipped a lighter out of my pocket and set fire to him.

A sick feeling rose up in my throat as I watched him burn.

'Nice work,' complimented a snide, girlish voice I only knew too well. 'Really nice. Glad to see you've improved.'

Like the flick of a switch, the mist was gone. The fire from the vampire I killed threw dancing shadows across the forest. Everything was clear again, but now, I wished that I couldn't see the three hooded figures that materialised silently into the forest.

'Hmm,' Jane said in a bored tone, examining her nails. 'That girl with the mist had a _very_ useful ability. Pity we killed her really.' She smirked. 'And pity you won't survive today.'

_**Eh, sorry I've left out a lot of stuff like where Vincent and Cid spent the night before the invasion and all that. I'm just too lazy to put in extra info. Besides, I didn't have a clue myself, and making Vince sleep in a coffin felt weird. I mean, where are they going to get it, and where's Cid gonna go?**_

_**Forgive me for using {}{}{} during the 'breaks'. For some strange reason the stars/asterixes no longer upload properly on Fanfiction (for me anyway) so this was the only way I could think of to denote breaks.  
**_

_**Oh, and I'd like to give some credit: when Cid says 'serves you right for having a pretty face' comes from a book called Running Scared by Elizabeth Lowell (I think. Can't remember her last name) and the part where Cid says 'I wouldn't wanna be you' is a direct reference to Fang's Highwind attack in FFXIII.**_

_**This chapter may be a bit clichéd and over the top with all those newborn attacks; I honestly don't know. I'll try and make it less overblown in the next chapter.**_


	10. Chaos in Forks

_**Yes, pun intended :D**_

_**Sorry for the abrupt ending, I wrote the beginning weeks ago and only remembered that I hadn't finished it yesterday...**_

_**Told from Bella's POV. Thanks for reading and the reviews/favourites, really appreciate it!**_

_**{}{}{}  
**_

'What are you doing here?' I asked Jane icily, at the same time wondering how Alice did not foresee this.

Jane shrugged. 'You break the rules, we come.'

'No rules were broken,' I insisted, warily watching Felix on her right.

'Is that so?' Jane replied with awful sarcasm, and then gestured at Valentine. 'I don't recall ever seeing this handsome fellow around, perhaps you had some innocent reason for creating him?'

It took me a while to understand what she was talking about. 'Oh, him,' I said quickly, 'he's not a vampire. Er, we, um, found him somewhere a while ago. He shows no response to blood so he's not a vampire!' Even before I spoke, my words sounded like a childish excuse.

Jane nodded sceptically and turned to Valentine. 'Boy, tell me your name' she ordered. For an answer Valentine pointed his gun at Jane.

Literally out of nowhere, Demetri appeared at launched himself at Valentine. He sidestepped, but wasn't fast enough, and the gun went flying from his hand. Valentine then aimed a vicious swipe at Demetri with his golden claws and sent the vampire staggering. A moment later Valentine was on the ground at his feet. I stared in confusion, until I noticed that he was shaking slightly as though trying to control himself.

Jane.

Her face was lit up with a malicious smile as she tortured him. Instinctively, I pushed out my shield to cover Valentine, but my shield had no effect on him, just like Edward and Alice's abilities did not work on him. But why did Jane's?

'Stop it!' I cried, unable to watch Valentine suffer any longer.

'I'll stop when he answers me,' Jane replied without looking up.

I felt so helpless. If I attacked Jane, Felix and Demetri would rip me apart on the spot. My shield was not physical; it did nothing to repel other vampires_. Well, better to die fighting than doing nothing_, I told myself, and shifted into a crouch.

A stunning blow knocked the side of my head and sent me sprawling. I picked myself up, only to have a pair of hands constrict around my neck like a vice. It was Demetri; one casual twist of his wrists could easily break my neck. I held myself still and glared at Jane with hatred.

'Oh, so is this your new boyfriend?' Jane teased, pausing. 'Why are you so protective of him?' When I gave no reply she rolled her eyes and returned her gaze to Valentine. I cringed, expecting to him cry out in pain, but instead an unearthly howling filled the air. It was a sound I'd only heard once before; a sound that sent hair rising; but one I recognised.

'What was that?' Jane asked suspiciously.

'It's the devil,' I gloated, watching Valentine's glowing form. Jane followed my gaze; then leapt back in alarm. In an instant blinding purple light surrounded his body. When the light dimmed, out stepped the monstrous form of a demon. It held out its arm, and purple light swirled around it. A moment later the swirls solidified into a gigantic four barrelled gun. Its wrathful golden eyes swept past me and focused on Jane, who began to edge back in caution.

Felix rushed forward, evidently intent on attacking the demon. The next second the demon's wings had unfurled; one edge of it slammed into Felix and sent him flying. Undeterred, the mountainous vampire rushed back at the demon a second time. The two circled each other warily like two wild beasts.

'Kill it!' Jane screamed. I glanced at her face; she was frowning in concentration, and it appeared that the demon was immune to Jane's ability. Demetri released me immediately and launched himself at the demon. The two crashed together with a colossal crack, and Felix leapt into the fray not a moment later, intent on ripping its wings off.

With a shattering roar of rage, the demon threw the two vampires off its body and took to the air. It fired several blasts; all missed but vaporised the surrounding trees. A wave of hot air rushed over me.

Demetri took a running leap and managed to latch on to the demon's foot. It snarled at him and began to swerve wildly, trying to throw him off. Eventually, it glided to the ground and lashed out its heels. Demetri, dangling from the end, crashed into Felix on the ground. He lost his grip and fell, sending up a spray of dust. The demon aimed its gun at the prone vampire, but Felix pulled him out of the way, resulting in a large crater where Demetri stayed previously.

The demon seemed to be well occupied, and more than a match for both Felix and Demetri, so I took the opportunity to attack Jane, who was standing at the sides watching with a shocked expression.

'Big mistake,' I said softly as I knocked her to the ground. 'You should've brought more backup.'

'Bitch,' she spat, and aimed a swipe at me.

I avoided her easily. 'You can't fight well, can you?' I taunted. 'Never had to fight, I suppose. You're a coward.'

Jane gave a shriek of rage and rushed at me. She tackled me to the ground; I twisted in her grip and managed to pull out a lighter from her pocket. Her nailed screeched horribly against the back of my hand as she fought to pull it out of my grasp. I quickly clicked it in the hopes of burning her alive, but grabbed my wrist and jerked, causing me to drop the lighter in pain. When she reached for it, I lashed out my foot, kicking it away into the trunk of a tree, where it snapped in two.

'Idiot!' Jane snarled.

'No, you,' I said grimly and cuffed her face. She stumbled backwards, then leapt up and sank her teeth into my arm. I yelled in pain and grabbed her hair to pull her away, but she only clenched her teeth tighter. With a savage jerk she broke free, taking a large piece of my arm with her.

Unbearable pain crippled me. There was no blood, but my arm felt as though it had been sawed off. I curled on the ground, clutching my arm.

'Bella!' I heard someone yell my name in the distance. I weakly raised my head, but Jane's fist smashed solidly into my nose, and I fell back down. Dimly, I noticed a crawling piece of white marble making its way toward me_. My arm_, I realised. I reached out for it, only to experience a second wave of pain as someone crushed my fingers…

That someone was suddenly pulled out of my sight. I drifted in and out of consciousness. Eventually, the pain resided. My fingers healed and the piece of my arm missing reconnected. Slightly confused due to the pain, I raised my head again to see what was happening.

Edward was on the ground, cringing in pain. I quickly threw out my shield to protect him. Distracted at Edward's sudden immunity, Jane turned and saw me standing before her. Hate twisted her pretty, innocent face. I bared my teeth at her and prepared to strike once again. Jane looked between me and Edward, realising the battle was lost. I moved to block her exit, just as Edward threw a small object at her head.

Jane gave a scream of pain as her hair caught fire. I turned my eyes away from the gruesome sight –

'You know, I've never actually seen a catfight before,' Edward commented lightly, as though oblivious to all the fighting around him. 'It was quite amusing until you got hurt.'

'Edward!' I wrapped my arms around him tightly, afraid to let go. He laughed with relief as well, and raised my head to kiss me.

'Now really, is this the best moment? I mean, wouldn't you rather watch Chaos flatten that fatso?' We broke apart and saw Cid openly grinning at us. He motioned at something beyond us with his spear, and we turned to look.

Several trees were on fire and there were a few large craters that littered the ground.

'Wow, what happened?'

'That demon thing Vincent turned into managed to shoot Demetri with his gun, and then Sam's pack finished off Felix.' Edward grinned broadly, 'you know, it'll be a long time before the Volturi disturb us again.'

'Really?' I said skeptically. 'Where is everyone? And what happened after all that mist? Was anyone hurt?'

Edward's smile faded. 'No one was killed, but a lot of the werewolves have been quite badly injured. Carlisle's looking after them now. He says they'll make a full recovery within a week –'

'What about Alec and the others?'

'I don't know about Alec, but Vincent managed to nail a couple of the Volturi guys. Quil says he saw Alec running away, but he didn't give chase because Jacob called him back. I wouldn't worry about the Volturi anyway; we've managed to take out the bulk of their forces, so it'll be a long time before Aro considers bothering us again.'

'What happened with the mist then? And how come Alice didn't see this coming?' I pressed.

'When Vincent killed that vampire last February, his mate went to Aro to enlist his help in seeking revenge,' Edward explained. 'But since she never saw him get killed, Aro couldn't extract information about Vincent's morph from her. So essentially, Aro underestimated us. As for the mist, Aro managed to create another vampire who had an ability similar to Alec's, only it clouds vision. Alice couldn't see into her future, and anyone who associated with her was blotted out.'

'How did you figure all that out?' I asked in surprise.

Edward laughed and tapped his head.

'Oh, okay,' I said, a bit shocked. 'It's just hard to believe that the Volturi won't trouble us in a long time.'

'Even harder to believe that it'll be Halloween next month?'

'Huh?' The sudden change of conversation confused me. 'What does Halloween – oh!'


	11. Homecoming

_**Wow, it's been like 6 months since my last update. I've been so lazy - sorry!**_

_**Anyway, there might be a bit of discontinuation between this chapter and the last. It's been so long that I've touched this I've kinda forgotten what happened last chapter. I've tried to make it as smooth as possible, but there's definitely a change in this one (I think). Sorry if the entire chapter appears rushed, because, well, it is. I'm running out of ideas for this story so rather than draw it out and torture my readers I've decided to make this the final chapter.**_

_**Told from Bella's POV. Thanks for reading and enjoy!**_

_**

* * *

**_

'Hey,' Emmett suggested, 'wouldn't it be cool if we went along with Cid tomorrow?'

It was the night before Halloween, and Alice as usual was bustling around the place decorating. She'd managed to grow numerous gigantic pumpkins this year (some were almost the size of a crate), and onto these surfaces she was busy carving out our faces. When she'd finished she proceeded to carve out all of Jacob's pack. I noticed with amusement that Leah's face was set in a scowl.

'_You_ can go,' I said. 'I'll bet Valentine's country is filled with retards and lunatics like those we met at Easter.'

'Is not!' Cid said indignantly. After a pause, he added, 'but you probably won't survive there, it's too dangerous.' He winked at Valentine.

'That settles it,' Emmett declared. 'I'm going –

'No!' Alice wailed. 'No one but those two are allowed to leave tomorrow! Who's going to help me pack up?'

'Pack up?' Rosalie repeated. 'Pack up what?'

'Pack up after the party!'

We all stared at Alice.

'Oh no,' I moaned. 'You're not thinking of throwing another Halloween party?'

'It's more than that,' she replied happily. 'I've invited the werewolves too! It's also going to be a farewell party!'

'For us?' Cid asked. 'Hey, thanks!'

'I know!' Emmett said suddenly. 'If we're going to spend the whole day going crazy tomorrow, let's go clubbing tonight!'

'In a pub?' Edward said incredulously. 'What's the point? You can't even drink any of that stuff anyway.'

Emmett looked at him pointedly.

'Hmm,' Edward murmured with narrowed eyes.

'Alright then!' Emmett roared enthusiastically, grabbing Cid and Valentine's arm. 'C'mon! We're having a pre-party tonight!'

'I think I'll stay,' Alice said. 'I probably look under age.'

'And me,' Rosalie added.

'I'll stay too,' Jasper said.

Carlisle and Esme were evidently not coming, which left the five of us – Cid, Valentine, Emmett, Edward and me. Emmett had such a mischievous grin on his face that I wondered what he had in mind.

'Look after Nessie,' I said to Rosalie before following the others out.

'I'd rather not go,' Valentine said.

'Aww, why not? It'll be fun,' Cid wheedled. And together, Cid and Emmett seized Valentine's arms and almost dragged him out the door. As we stepped outside into the cool evening air I drew Edward back, so that we were out of earshot of everyone.

'What's Emmett trying to do?'

Edward chuckled. 'He wants to see Valentine drunk. He says he's been dying to see it ever since last month, but seeing as the two disappeared after the Volturi he didn't get a chance to spike Valentine's drink.'

'Oi, you two!' Emmett called from far ahead. 'This isn't a honeymoon, you know! Finished serenading each other?'

'Coming, coming,' Edward called back, and we hurried to catch up. Valentine's face was inscrutable, although I wondered if he knew he was to be the victim of Emmett's sneaky ploy. Cid seemed rather oblivious; he tagged along asking Emmett random questions.

'So tell me,' Cid began. 'What are your pubs like? Lots of strange people there?'

'You'll see,' Emmett grinned.

* * *

Seeing as it was the night before Halloween, the streets were crowded with excited people shopping. Children were comparing costumes, skipping around and giggling.

'You'd almost think it's Halloween by the way these people are acting,' I commented. We stopped in front of a fairly unknown nightclub near the outskirts of Port Angeles, a place I vividly remembered for their shady people from last year. There were bouncers at the door, and they trained their eyes on Valentine when we approached.

'Dressing up for Halloween already?' one of them asked snidely. 'A bit early there. What costume's that?'

'Sorry?' Valentine asked, sensing that this question was aimed at him.

'Shut it,' Emmett snarled, bulking himself up and flexing his muscles. The bouncers looked nervous and backed away a few steps, hands drifting to their belts where I guessed some weapons must be hiding. 'We don't want trouble, we only want to stay for a while. But if you pull any funny tricks on us I'll make you regret it,' Emmett threatened.

They stepped aside promptly, allowing us to enter.

'You do realise,' I shouted to Emmett as we emerged into the deafening atmosphere of the nightclub with all the awful music, 'that those guys only allowed us through so that they can call the police later on?'

'Actually,' Edward corrected. 'They've got their Tasers ready to shoot us.'

'I'll get drinks,' Emmett volunteered and left.

'Are vampires Taser-proof?' I asked anxiously.

'Uh, good question. I have no idea,' Edward replied. 'But they're not going to do anything until they spot trouble.'

As soon as the words were out of his mouth, a group of aggressive men approached us. I smelt the overwhelming whiff of alcohol on them, and knew they were intoxicated.

'Dressing up for Halloween already?' one of them slurred, brushing close to Valentine. I looked around for Emmett; if he was here his gigantic size would automatically frighten off everyone. I found him in the crowd, but he had seen us already. To my annoyance, I realised he wasn't going to interfere. Instead, he was looking at us and smiling mischievously.

'Leave,' Valentine said coldly, without so much as looking at him.

'Ooo, so is the dress-up kiddo angry at us now?'

'Piss off, you bastard,' Cid growled at grabbed the other's shirt roughly. The drunkard pushed him back viciously and his mates clouded around him. Edward and I stepped forward, but Valentine was the first to interfere. He stepped in front of Cid and sent the others flying with a swing of his armoured arm. They crashed into the surrounding tables, alerting nearby people. Many gathered around us, though most looked like they were itching to see a brawl.

But the men Valentine had attacked, instead of scampering away in fear, formed an aggressive ring around us. The four of us drew closer together, facing them.

'Should we risk using our speed?' I asked Edward.

'No, too many people,' Edward responded, keeping his eyes on the drunks. 'We have to pretend to be human. And why the hell is Emmett just standing there grinning at us like an idiot?'

The staff in the nightclub seemed to have disappeared; I sincerely hoped they were off to get some security. While I wondered this, one of the men grabbed a nearly chair and flung it at Cid, who was looking the other way. Valentine leapt forward, but his heroism was rewarded with a full blow of the chair to his face.

I expected what happened next – the chair, instead of knocking Valentine senseless to the ground, completely shattered on contact. A hush fell upon the watching crowd. Even the music seemed dim. The drunks, possibly in awe of Valentine's invincibility, melted away into the crowd.

'Well, that's to be expected,' Emmett said lightly, quiet enough so that only Edward and I could hear. 'After all, if he can survive being attacked by vampires he can survive a bit of wood.'

'Where the hell have you been?' Edward hissed.

'Vincent, are you alright?' Cid asked, cutting across our private conversation. We looked up to see Valentine rubbing at his head slowly. A small trickle of blood was running down his face.

'It's nothing. Don't worry about it,' Valentine replied.

'I have to say, I'm impressed,' a new voice joined us. It was one of the bartenders. 'It's very rare to see a man of you age survive an attack like that.'

'What do you mean, "a man of my age"?' Valentine asked indignantly.

'He's accusing you of being old,' Cid laughed.

'We'll worry about that later,' Edward hissed, evidently sensing something in the bartender's mind. 'We have to get out of here now!' He took advantage of our confusion and shepherded us to the door, only to find the bouncers blocking our way, guns (or Tasers – I didn't have enough knowledge of weaponry to tell the difference) levelled at us. Emmett stepped forward and they fired.

Edward pulled him out of the way. He grabbed Emmett in one arm and Valentine the other. 'Bella! Get Cid and get out of here!' he shouted to me. He seemed to have an idea of what he was doing, so I did as he asked, bolting past at super speed past the astonished bouncers. I followed him, until it became evident that he was heading for home.

'Hang on!' I called, and he slowed down, releasing Emmett and Valentine. We were somewhere close to Forks now.

'Well, that was eventful,' I said, shooting an annoyed glance at Emmett. 'Let's see, we went into a nightclub, stirred a bit of trouble and came right out.'

'Yeah,' Emmett agreed. 'But it was awesome fun!'

'I wish I hadn't left my spear behind. But someone called you old!' Cid said gleefully to Valentine.

'How old are you anyway?' I asked curiously.

'I'm not really sure,' Valentine replied. 'It's hard to keep track of the years.'

'You sound like a reminiscent sixty year old man,' Edward joked.

'Well, Vincent's sixty-something,' Cid explained. I detected no trace of a lie in his face. Emmett nearly tripped over in shock. Both he and Edward stared at each other incredulously, eyes wide.

'Thanks for revealing my age,' Valentine said dryly.

'So, er, are you immortal or something?' I asked cautiously.

'Something like that.'

I was quite speechless the rest of the way home. Even after seeing Valentine transform into some sort of bat monster, it hadn't occurred to me at all that he would never age, just like a vampire.

* * *

I spent the whole night wondering what Valentine was. He refused to give me a straight answer when I asked him, and by morning I still hadn't figured it out.

During the party, he brooded in a corner, while Cid mingled with everyone else (including Jacob's pack) jovially, even twirling his spear around and showing off his skills as a finishing act for the party.

'Can you _please_ tell me what you are?' I asked Valentine, when the party ended and it was nearly time for them to go.

'I can't,' Valentine said. 'I don't know myself.' He walked into the basement with Cid, where I could see sparkling trails of green mist. Before disappearing back to their world, they turned around and faced us. Cid waved his spear as goodbye; Valentine merely nodded.

'Well, uh, bye then,' I said awkwardly, waving half-heartedly. Their departure was so sudden, and besides, what is there to say to something you're not even sure you like?

The mist faded, taking Cid and Valentine with it.

'Momma,' Nessie said from Rosalie's arms, staring at the space they occupied. 'Can we go to Narnia for Christmas?'

THE END

* * *

**_NOTE: I don't actually think that's what'll happen when strangely dressed people go into a nightclub, but I wanted the final chapter to be light hearted and humurous so I just randomly pictured what a nightclub would be like. P__lease __don't take any offense if things__ are inaccurate!_**

**_Oh and also, the line 'a man of your age' if referenced directly from the opening sequence of Assassins Creed Brotherhood, when *MINOR SPOILER* Ezio gets shot by Cesare's soldiers at Monterrigioni and he seeks a doctor. The doctor then says something along the lines of 'a man of your age would find it difficult to recover from such wounds,' and Ezio angrily replies, 'what do you mean, a man of my age?' ROFL_**

**_Lastly, I'd like to thank everyone who's read this, who's been a huge support to me throughout the year, leaving kind and encouraging comments. I may not have replied to them all, because I feel kind of foolish sending an email with just 'thank you'. But I've read all of them, and I really appreciate it! A HUGE thank you to everyone who's left lots of comments, especially one very special person who's left loooooong and informative comments and critiques on almost every chapter (c'mon, you know who you are XD)._**

**_This is the end of this story, but I'm planning on writing some more in the future. I need to find some more inspiration first though._**

**_Thank you again! And have a lovely Christmas! It's Christmas eve, I hope you all get lovely presents tomorrow!  
_**


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